Polynya

Sure enough, smoke has begun puffing out from the corners of the stage. Lightning from the dark sky overhead strikes the base of the mirrored pyramid on stage. Fire appears at the edges of the pyramid and slowly burns its way up to the DJ booth at the top.

“Bravo!” Zaena claps her hands and FeeTwix comes behind her and wraps his arms around her waist.

“So, what happened in the catacombs?” Enway asks, moving closer to Ryuk.

“A lot of battles, and eventually, an ink shadow with a strange dialect.”

“Those things are icky.”

“Yeah, just a word of advice,” Ryuk says over the roar of the crowd, “you’ve heard Hiccup go on and on about chalupas versus churros–”

“If he has a penis, he should call it a churro,” she says firmly. “I’m not backing down on this.”

“Right. I don’t know what he has, or at least, I’ve tried to wipe what I’ve seen of his anatomy from my mind.” Ryuk shakes his head. Nope, the image of Hiccup’s ass is still there. “Anyway, what I was getting at: do not, do not ever, get him started on ink shadows. Trust me on that. If you value your sanity, never ask him about ink shadows.”

She laughs. “Noted.”

A man with long hair and a line shaved down the center of his forehead flies over them. He lands on another platform, kicks off, nears another, and bounces off again.

~~DJ RIDE THE LIGHTNING!~~

A booming voice says it again, and as it does so, a slow motion bolt of lightning descends from the sky. Seeing his opening, DJ Ride the Lightning takes a leap, twists, and with his arms stretched in front of him, he latches onto the bolt of lightning.

“That’s so stupid!” Enway says as DJ Ride the Lightning whips around on the lightning bolt. He’s giving it his rodeo best, and as it nears the stage, he swan dives off it and lands at the top of the mirror pyramid just as the music starts up.

“Woo!” Zaena calls out, her fists in the air as she rocks to the music. “So great!”

“Aren’t you going to dance?” FeeTwix calls over to Ryuk.

“Um … ” Ryuk starts grooving as best as his hips will allow.

“Not bad,” Enway says as she does the same. “Oh! I forgot to tell you, I finished the ten page essay.”

“Ten page essay?”

“Yeah, as part of Hiccup’s extreme vetting. It’s a ten page essay on why I’d like to join the Mitherfickers and what I’d bring to the group. It’s the last part of the vetting process.”

“I didn’t … ” Ryuk shakes his head. Damn goblin!

“It’s fine. There was also a multiple choice test too.”

“When did he have time to make all this stuff?”

“I think he made some of it when he was at DD’s BBQ, and well, honestly, I have no idea.”

“What kind of multiple choice questions?” Ryuk yells over the loud choons radiating from the stage. DJ Ride the Lightning is currently suspended upside down from a dark cloud, his hair hanging as he presses buttons on his rig.

“There was one that showed a poorly drawn picture of a penis with two answer choices, chalupa and churro.”

“And which did you choose?” Ryuk looks up to see FeeTwix grinding against Zaena, who beats both her arms in the air.

“I chose churro! I’m not going to let that damn goblin intimidate me in my native language!”

“Fuck him, we need a healer. You’re in!”

Ryuk fires off messages to the others.

Ryuk: Enway is joining the guild.

FeeTwix: I’m game.

Zaena: YEAH!

Hiccup: What the fick, Marbles!? I haven’t graded her essay yet!

Ryuk: Fick you, Hiccup!

Hiccup: Hey!

FeeTwix: YEAH FICK YOU, HICCUP!

Zaena: MITHERFICKERS FOR LIFE!

DJ Ride the Lightning explodes into a million tiny neon bolts.

The multifarious bolts zip around the concert grounds, merge into a single sphere over the audience, and within that radiating sphere, the DJ’s body reforms. He throws up two peace signs à la Nixon and the bass drops.

And boy does it drop.

Ryuk can feel the concussion in his chest; it’s almost as if he’s been struck by a gravity marble the size of a wrecking ball. The crowd below responds, their hands moving in great waves above their heads as they dance their asses off.

The sphere above the crowd explodes, showering the concertgoers with sparkling blips of light.

DJ Ride the Lightning is suddenly at the top of the pyramid again in the form of a nude woman with her nipples covered by flashing stars.

More stars spiral out of the rafters and the music moves accordingly, the percussive snare hitting the off beats, the full synth filling out the midrange, the high end covered by a vocoded female voice screaming in ecstasy.

The bass builds again, the crowd readies for the drop, and the drop that follows rattles the very core of Ryuk’s avatar.

Their platform trembles as if it were struck by a mini earthquake. As soon as it passes, Ryuk looks to see Zaena’s jumping in the air with a huge smile on her face, using her ghost limbs for stability. FeeTwix points both fingers to the sky, nodding and occasionally picking out his fans below and shooting them a thumbs up.

Once the bass filters out, Ryuk turns to Enway.

“I checked with the others. You’re in!”