The Mousetrap

COPE. Jerusalem certainly is full of celebrities. We must have a drink. What are you drinking?

GERARD. Thank you. Cinzano à l’eau.

COPE. (As he crosses to the desk) By the way, the name’s Cope. (To the CLERK) A Cinzano à l’eau and a rye straight. (He moves to Left of the table Centre.)

(The CLERK claps his hands. The ARAB BOY enters up Left, takes the order from the CLERK for the drinks and exits up Left.)

GERARD. (Moving to Right of the table Centre) Tell me—I am interested—is that a typical American family to whom you were talking?

COPE. Why, no, I wouldn’t say it was exactly typical.

GERARD. They seem—a very devoted family.

COPE. You mean they all seem to revolve round the old lady? That’s true enough. She’s a very remarkable woman, you know.

GERARD. Indeed? Tell me something about her. (He sits Right of the table Centre.)

COPE. I’ve been having that family a good deal on my mind lately. You see, young Mrs. Boynton, Mrs. Lennox Boynton, is an old friend of mine.

GERARD. Ah, yes, that very charming young lady?

COPE. That’s right—that’s Nadine. I knew her before her marriage to Lennox Boynton. She was training in hospital to be a nurse. Then she went for a vacation to stay with the Boyntons—they were distant cousins—and she married Lennox.

GERARD. And the marriage—it has been a happy one?

COPE. (After a pause; moving a little up Left Centre) I—I hardly know what to say about that.

GERARD. You are worried about something?

COPE. Yes. (He moves above the chair Left of the table Centre and leans on the back of it.) I’d value your opinion—that is, if you won’t be bored?

GERARD. I shall not be bored. People are my speciality—always they interest me. Tell me about this Boynton family.

COPE. Well, the late Elmore Boynton was a very rich man. This Mrs. Boynton was his second wife.

GERARD. She is the stepmother, then?

COPE. Yes, but they were young children at the time of the marriage, and they’ve always looked upon her as their own mother. They’re completely devoted to her, as you may have noticed.

GERARD. I noticed their—(He pauses) devotion—yes.

COPE. Elmore Boynton thought a lot of his second wife. When he died he left everything in her hands—she has an excellent head for business. Since his death she’s devoted herself entirely to those children, and she’s shut out the outside world altogether. I’m not sure, you know, that that is really a sound thing to do.

GERARD. Nothing could be more harmful to developing mentalities.

COPE. (Struck) Well now, that’s rather what I feel. In her devotion to them she’s never let them make any outside contacts. Result is, they’ve grown up kind of—(He pauses) nervy. They can’t make friends with strangers.

GERARD. Do they all live at home? Have the sons no professions? No careers?

COPE. No—there’s plenty of money, you see.

GERARD. But they are dependent on their stepmother financially?

COPE. That’s so. She’s encouraged them to live at home and not go out and look for jobs.

(The ARAB BOY enters up Left with two drinks on a tray. He serves the drinks to COPE and GERARD, then exits up Left.)

They don’t play golf, they don’t belong to any country clubs, they don’t go around to dances, or meet other young people.

GERARD. What do they do, then?

COPE. Well, they just—sit around. You’ve seen them today.

GERARD. And you disapprove?

COPE. (With heat) No boy ought to keep on being tied to his mother’s apron strings. He ought to strike out and be independent.

GERARD. And suppose that was impossible?

COPE. What do you mean—impossible?

GERARD. There are two ways, Mr. Cope, of preventing a tree from growing.

COPE. (Staring) They’re a fine healthy well-grown lot.

GERARD. The mind can be stunted as well as the body.

COPE. The mind?

GERARD. I don’t think you have quite grasped my point.

(COPE stares at GERARD.)

But continue.

COPE. (Moving Left Centre) What I feel is that it’s time Lennox Boynton stopped just sitting around twiddling his thumbs. How can a man who does that hope to keep a woman’s respect?

GERARD. (With a Gallic twinkle) Aha—I see—you are thinking of his wife. (He puts his glass on the table.)