Lament for a lost lover

“Castlemaine’s the King’s mistress and the Black Boy is H.M. himself. Carleton’s quite a character. He sets the town wagging with gossip and then he slips off to Eversleigh and stays there for a while. I hear he is furious because there is now a baby heir. Your own sweet child, Arabella. Oh, there’s quite a bit of gossip about Carleton Eversleigh and I lap it up ... having once been a connection of sorts.”

“Harriet, I want to know that you’re happy.”

“I want to know that you are.”

As happy as I can be without Edwin. Reassure me, Harriet.” As happy as I can be without a grand mansion of my own and a fortune so that I can live in luxury until the end of my days.”

“Oh, Harriet’ I said, “it’s been wonderful seeing you.”

“Perhaps we’ll meet again. I intend to be the toast of the London playhouses. Carleton will be coming to take you back now. I’m glad you came, Arabella. There’ll always be something, won’t there, between us two?”

She smiled at me somewhat enigmatically. I couldn’t make out whether she was really happy or not. I felt frustrated and uneasy. I wanted to persuade her to give up the stage and come back with me to Eversleigh.

I knew I couldn’t. For one thing she would refuse, and for another my new family would never agree to it.

I said good-bye to her, and as she kissed me she said: “We’ll meet again. Our lives, as they say in plays, are interwoven while we are on earth together.” It was the most exciting experience of my trip to London.

PLAGUE

EVERSLEIGH SEEMED DULL AFTER LONDON, BUT I WAS GLAD TO BE back with Edwin and to reassure myself that he had not suffered from my temporary desertion.

Charlotte and I went first to the nursery where we were greeted vociferously by the boys, and when they saw what we had brought for them their welcome became even warmer. We had been careful that what one had so should the other, so they each had a popgun with clay pellets, a trumpet apiece made from cows’ horn, and kites-a blue one for Edwin, a red one for Leigh. With these and the peppermint drops in boxes with pictures of Whitehall Palace on them, the boys were enchanted. It was typical that Leigh’s favourite should be the popgun which he proceeded to fire at everyone and everything while Edwin loved his trumpet. The kites were almost equally favoured, I think, and they wanted to go out immediately to fly them.

Charlotte said: “Which do you love best, us or the presents?” both little boys looked puzzled. Leigh kept his eyes on his popgun, Edwin fingered his trumpet. Then with a gesture which moved me deeply because it reminded me of his father, Edwin put down his trumpet and ran to me and flung his arms about me.

Leigh thoughtfully did the same to Charlotte.

We laughed a great deal and then Edwin said: “If you hadn’t come back you couldn’t have brought the presents, could you?”

Leigh nodded solemnly.

Even though this did suggest that the presents might be more desirable than our company, we were amused and delighted with the sagacity of the children. They were happy days-flying the kites, listening to the sound of the trumpets and escaping from clay pellets. We were so glad to be back. But all the time I was haunted by my memories of Harriet. I could not get her out of my mind. I thought of Carleton who had obviously arranged our visit to the playhouse knowing she was there. There was undoubtedly a streak of mischief in him, but what disturbed me most was his undoubted interest in me and his reference to the fact that Edwin had come between him and his inheritance.

That he loved Eversleigh I had no doubt. Its concerns were of the utmost importance to him. He was very often there, and I noticed that the visits to London were becoming more rare.

It was towards the end of the summer when Carleton’s wife, Barbary, came to Eversleigh Court. Carleton treated her with an indifference which I found ungallant. I realized during the day after her arrival that she was far from well. When I enquired of the servants-not having seen her throughout the day-I heard that she was in her bed, feeling too unwell to arise.

I went to see her.

She looked ill and I asked if there was anything she needed.

She shook her head. “I have come to the quiet of the country for a rest,” she said. “I do now and then ... when I feel tired. I don’t think her ladyship likes it very much, but, after all, this is my husband’s home and I have a right to be here, don’t you think?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Well that’s nice to hear since you are a kind of deputy chatelaine. Don’t you feel lonely living here?” She waved her hand disparagingly.

“I find it peaceful,” I said, “as you obviously do since you come for a rest. Do you often feel that need?”

She nodded. “Quiet ... one day very like another, cows mooing, sheep bleating, and the birds are nice in the spring.”

“I had no idea you had a taste for such things.”

“You must know, Cousin Arabella, that things are not always what they seem.”

“That’s true. Shall I get something sent up to you?”