Lament for a lost lover

The next day Barbary was very much better, and seemed to revert to her old character, which was one of cynical sophistication. I wondered whether she regretted her confidence, for she seemed to avoid me and a few days after that she left for London. Sally Nullens shook her head over her and was unaccustomedly confidential. “I’ve always felt rather sorry for Mistress Barbary’ she said. “She was flung into this when she was nothing more than a child, and I don’t think Master Carleton did anything much to help her.”

I felt my lips tighten. I couldn’t forget what Barbary had suggested about his thinking of marrying me if he could find some way of removing her. The second marriage of convenience, I thought. Not for me, Master Carleton. I couldn’t help feeling a satisfaction that he was for the second time cheated of what he wanted “more than anything.” At the same time I found the prospect a little sinister. “He is a man who won’t rest until he’s got what he wants.”

“She never took care of herself,” went on Sally. “Master Carleton always said so.

A serious illness, he said, and she’d snuff out like a candle.”

“He said that?”

“Oh, yes, more than once.”

“But she is young and strong and I believe leads a very active life in London.”

“You could call it that,” said Sally Nullens. “Master Carleton’s right though. She’s not strong and ought to take more care of herself. A silly girl ... the life she leads. Like a moth fluttering round the candle.”

“You seem to have candles on your mind, Sally. I hope you keep them away from the children.”

“Now, Mistress Arabella, do you think I’d be so foolish as not to?”

“I know you are wonderful with the children, Sally. I’m grateful.”

“Oh, you’re nothing but a girl yourself. As for the boys, I couldn’t get them in to their dinner today. They didn’t want to leave the kites you brought them. Master Leigh’s must go higher than Master Edwin’s and then Master Edwin’s higher than Master Leigh’s. Always got to go one better. I don’t know.”

She was good, Sally was, and devoted to the children. At that moment I thought: I wish they needn’t grow up. I wish Carleton would go to London and stay there. I didn’t want to think of him or what might be in his devious mind. But my encounter with Barbary had started up uneasy trains of thought in my mind because of the dreams I was having.

Silly dreams about kites and popguns. I remember one in which Edwin was flying his kite, and as it went up into the sky, I could see that painted on it was a picture of Eversleigh Court. As I watched, it grew bigger and bigger and there were people on the lawns so that it was no longer a picture. Then I saw Carleton running towards Edwin and trying to snatch the kite away from him. Edwin would not release it and started to shout: “Be careful, Mama. Be careful!” Then I saw the clay pellets from the popgun scattered everywhere ... and I was frightened.

Silly, stupid dreams but an indication of an uneasy mind. I wished Barbary had not put such thoughts into my head, but if they were in hers it was as well for me to know.

It was round about Christmas time of that year 1664. The boys were thinking of their fifth birthdays which closely followed Christmas. It was a cold snowy afternoon, with the flakes fluttering down and great fires roaring in every room. The boys were kneeling on the schoolroom window seat, looking out at the snow, when Leigh shouted: “Someone’s coming.”

Edwin cried: “I can see a man. He’s riding into the courtyard.”

“Some travellers,” I said to Sally. “Someone who finds the weather too bad to go on. We shall doubtless have a visitor today. I will go down and see who it is.” The children came with me.

Charlotte was already in the hall. When the bell started to clang, she opened the door and a man stepped in.

“Good day!” he cried. “A merry good day. What weather. Still I’m glad to be home!”

He looked at me with astonishment and then grinned at Charlotte.

“Now which one of you would be my niece, Charlotte?” he asked.

Charlotte stepped forward.

He seized her and kissed her.

“Is your father at home?”

Charlotte said: “Yes. I’ll send for him. You must be ...”

“Your Uncle Tobias, Niece. Uncle Toby that is. Home from Virginia. Looking for a welcome warmer than the weather.”

Matilda Eversleigh was standing at the top of the staircase. He went towards her.

“Matilda, my dear sister. Where’s John?”

“Why, “cried Matilda. “You must be ...”

“Don’t you know me? Well, it’s been some years. A lot has happened since I went away, eh?” Lord Eversleigh had appeared behind his wife.

“Why-Tobias!” he cried. “Welcome home, Toby. I thought you were dead these many years.”

“Not me, brother. Alive and kicking as they say. Well, I thought I’d give you all a surprise. I want to hear all the news and I want to give you mine.”

“First,” said Matilda, “you must eat and drink and we’ll have a room made ready.

Charlotte ...”

“I’ll see to that, Mama.”

“My dear Toby ... After all these years. We thought ...”