Champagne for One

"Yes, it is," she agreed. "I haven’t learned how to take things yet, but I suppose I will. I was silly-just because you said that. I should have just told you yes, someone did mention that to me once. About my face. More than once."

So I had put my foot in it. How the hell are you going to be tactful when you don’t know what is out of bounds and what isn’t? Merely having a face that changes isn’t going to get a girl a baby. I flopped around. "Well," I said, "I know it was a personal remark, and I only wanted to explain why I had stared at you. I wouldn’t have brought it up if I had known there was anything touchy about it. I think you ought to get even. I’m touchy about horses because once I caught my foot in the stirrup when I was getting off, so you might try that. Ask me something about horses and my face will change."

"I suppose you ride in Central Park. Was it in the park?"

"No, it was out West one summer. Go ahead. You’re getting warm."

We stayed on horses until Paul Schuster, on her right, horned in. I couldn’t blame him, since he had Mrs Robilotti on his other side. But Edwin Laidlaw still had Rose Tuttle, and it wasn’t until the dessert came, cherry pudding topped with whipped cream, that I had a chance to ask her about the remark she had made.

"Something you said," I told her. "Maybe I didn’t hear it right."

She swallowed pudding. "Maybe I didn’t say it right. I often don’t." She leaned to me and lowered her voice. "Is this Mr Laidlaw a friend of yours?"

I shook my head. "Never saw him before."

"You haven’t missed anything. He publishes books. To look at me, would you think I was dying to know how many books were published last year in America and England and a lot of other countries?"

"No, I wouldn’t. I would think you could make out all right without it."

"I always have. What was it I said wrong?"

"I didn’t say you said it wrong. I understood you to say something about the society men that were here the other time, and I wasn’t sure I got it. I didn’t know whether you meant another party like this one."

She nodded. "Yes, that’s what I meant. Three years ago. She throws one every year, you know."

"Yes, I know."

"This is my second one. This friend of mine I mentioned, she says the only reason I had another baby was to get invited here for some more champagne, but believe me, if I liked champagne so much I could get it a lot quicker and oftener than that, and anyway, I didn’t have the faintest idea I would be invited again. How old do you think I am?"