We Know

The lights, with their high-tech sensor pads, continued to illuminate my walk in segments until I was on the porch. Induma loved her technology. At the door I realized how nervous I was. I hadn't been over since we'd split, and I was looking forward to seeing her more than I wanted to admit.

Before I could knock, she shouted, "Come in!"

Stepping into a waft of humid air and layered scents, I set down the bottle I'd brought of her favorite dessert wine. Induma, like the kitchen, was a mess. Shiny hair piled atop her head, flecks of lassi on her face, dish towel crammed quarterback style down the front of her sweatpants. Lids rattled on steaming pots. Papadum disks dripped vegetable oil onto paper towels. A timer buzzed. On a sheet of tinfoil on the kitchen table sat a giant lump of clay, shaped vaguely, bizarrely, like Chewbacca's head.

Induma kneed the oven door closed. "Out of my way. Sit here. Eat this."

She slid a dish of puliyogare across the counter, pointed at it with a dripping wooden spoon. Rice with roasted peanuts and curry leaves, flavored with tamarind. I took a bite. She was a vegetarian, but her food was excellent anyway.

"Lord," I said.

She winked at me. "I know. Handro'll be right down. He's cleaning up."

"Cleaning up?"

"He's into sculpting."

That explained Chewbacca on the kitchen table.

"He any good?" I asked.

"God-awful."

I wanted to ask her about Charlie's house, but there was a comfort to being near Induma, and I wanted to enjoy it before Alejandro descended. I took a turn around the kitchen and the contiguous living room, noting the wonderful, domestic accoutrements. A ring-stained cork coaster on the coffee table. Sheet of TV channels taped to the inside of an open cabinet door. A dog-eared fashion magazine. What I was admiring, I realized with a touch of envy, was how lived-in the house felt.

There's a kind of fear, a kind of loss, that goes into your cells. Becomes a part of you. Walls you off, keeps you from getting to the things you want the most. Nothing brought that home like the feeling I got when I glanced over at Induma.

Alejandro pattered down the stairs, pulling a T-shirt over his head leisurely enough to show off his ridged stomach. He was clearly more handsome than me. And more Latin. At the sight of me, his striking face lit up with a sincerity that made me feel guilty.

"Nick!" The suave accent turned my name into "Neek." He sauntered over and offered me an embrace that reeked of Polo Sport. He flipped his shaggy dark hair from his eyes with a practiced toss of his head, then gestured proudly at the lump of clay on the table behind us. "My latest piece. You like?"

"Wookie?"

He frowned. "Self-portrait. I still work on the nuance."

"The nuance," I said. "Right."

Putting his arm around my shoulders, he turned me away from Induma in a two-man huddle. "I need your advice. We have our year anniversary Sunday, and I want to do something special."

"Look, I don't think I'm the guy to-"

"I know you two used to, you know, but it don't bother me. Really. You friends now. You know her so well. Give me the advice for a good date."

I glanced back. Induma, busy at the stove, caught my eye, suppressing a grin.

"You wouldn't think it, but she loves action movies," I said. "Rent something with Steven Seagal."

"Really? "

"I know. Weird, right? And you know what else she digs? Chicken wings."

He eyed me hesitantly. "But she a vegetarian."

"Except for chicken wings. The ones at Hooters, especially."

Finally he got it. He pointed at my face. "Aha! You fucking with me."

"No, I'm serious." I wasn't, of course, but I figured someone who didn't know Induma at least that well didn't deserve to date her.

He slipped around the counter and gave her a soft-lipped kiss. I looked away uncomfortably but still managed to watch. She kissed him back, then hip-checked him to the side and glanced in the oven. A sandalwood Buddha laughed at me from a wall alcove.

"Baby, I take the Jag in tomorrow for the service." Alejandro jogged over and plopped down on the gargantuan sofa in the living room, clicking the remote until Telemundo soccer highlights appeared on the wall-mounted plasma.

Induma set two square Pottery Barn plates on the counter between us, and we started to eat. She had a beautiful dining room, but we always ate over the counter, me parked on a stool, her leaning so as to keep the oven in reach.

Behind us Alejandro leapt up on the couch in excitement, then groaned, his shoulders slumping. In his distress he'd yanked off his T-shirt. "How hard is the penalty kick? Twelve yard! How hard can this be?"

Induma said to me, "Rhetorical."

A curved bank of windows past the TV overlooked a strip of lawn and the imitation canal beyond, but right now the glass just reflected back the house's interior, so we saw two Alejandros leaping up and down, shouting Spanish curses at the screen and holding his head in woeful disbelief.