The League of Frightened Men

"I'll try to believe you. There are few who do. I just wanted to say this to you: my friends have wasted a lot of time and money pursuing a mirage which someone has cleverly projected for them. I tell you straight, Mr. Wolfe, it's been a shock to me. That they should suspect me, knowing as they do how grateful I am for all their kindness! Really, incredible. I wanted to put this before you and save you from the loss of your time and money too. You would not be so fatuous as to chase a mirage?" ‹I assure you, sir, I am far too immobile to chase anything whatever. But perhaps – since you are by your own admission definitely out of it – perhaps you have a theory regarding the incidents that have disturbed your friends? It might help us."

"I'm afraid not." Chapin shook his head regretfully. "Of course, it appears more than likely that it's a practical joke, but I have no idea -"

"Murder isn't a joke, Mr. Chapin.

Death is not a j oke.'' ^. o i

"Oh, no? Really, no? Are you so sure?

Take a good case. Take me, Paul

Chapin – Would you dare to assert that my death would not be a joke?" ^ | "Why, would it?".;

"Of course. A howling anticlimax.

Death's pretensions to horror, considering what in my case has preceded it, would be indescribably ludicrous. That is why I have so greatly appreciated my friends, their thoughtfulness, their solicitude -"

A cry from behind interrupted him; a cry, deeply anguished, in the voice of Dr.

Burton: "Paul! Paul, for God's sake!"

Chapin wheeled about on his good leg.

"Yes?" Without raising his voice a particle he got into it a concentrated scorn that would have withered the love of God.

"Yes, Lorry?"

Burton looked at him, said nothing, shook his head, and turned his eyes away.

Chapin turned back to Wolfe. Wolfe said:

"So you adhere to 'the joke theory."

"Not adhere precisely. It seems likely.

So far as I am concerned, Mr. Wolfe, the only point is this: I suffer from the delusion of my friends that I am a source of peril to them. Actually, they are afraid of me. Of me! I suffer considerably, I _ really do. The fact is that it would be | difficult to conceive of a more harmless creature than I am. I am myself afraid!