Stranger in a Strange Land

His chat with Patty seemed to have wakened and rested him. He was still awake when Dawn came in.

He called out, «Who's there?»

«It's Dawn, Jubal.»

«It can't be dawn yet; it was only — Oh.»

«Yes, Jubal. Me.»

«Damn it, I thought I bolted that door. Child, march straight out of — Hey!Get out of this bed. Git!»

«Yes, Jubal. But I want to tell you something first.»

«Huh?»

«I have loved you a long time. Almost as long as Jill has.»

«Why, the very — Quit talking nonsense and shake your little fanny out that door.»

«I will, Jubal,» she said humbly. «But please listen to something first. Something about women.»

«Not now. Tell me in the morning.»

«Now,Jubal.»

He sighed. «Talk. Stay where you are.»

«Jubal … my beloved brother. Men care very much how we women look. So we try to be beautiful and that is a goodness. I used to be a peeler, as you know. It was a goodness, to let men enjoy the beauty I was for them. It was a goodness for me, to know that they needed what I had to give.

«But, Jubal, women are not men.We care what a man is. It can be something as silly as: Is he wealthy? Or it can be: Will he take care of my children and be good to them? Or, sometimes, it can be: Is he good? As you are good, Jubal. But the beauty we see in you is not the beauty you see in us. You are beautiful, Jubal.»

«For God's sake!»

«I think you speak rightly. Thou art God and I am God — and I need you. I offer you water. Will you let me share and grow closer?»

«Uh, look, little girl, if I understand what you are offering — »

«You grok, Jubal. To share all that we have. Ourselves. Selves.»

«I thought so. My dear, you have plenty to share — but … myself — well, you arrived years too late. I am sincerely regretful, believe me. Thank you. Deeply. Now go away and let an old man sleep.»

«You will sleep, when waiting is filled. Jubal … I could lend you strength. But I grok clearly that it is not necessary.»

(Goddamit — it wasn't necessary!) «No, Dawn. Thank you, dear.»

She got to her knees and bent over him. «Just one more word, then. Jill told me that if you argued, I was to cry. Shall I get my tears all over your chest? And share water with you that way?»

«I'm going to spank Jill!»

«Yes, Jubal. I'm starting to cry.» She made no sound, but in a second or two a warm, full tear splashed on his chest — was followed by another … and another — and still more. She sobbed almost silently.

Jubal cursed and reached for her … and cooperated with the inevitable.

XXXVI

JUBAL WOKE up alert, rested, and happy, realized that he felt better before breakfast than he had in years. For a long, long time he had been getting through that black period between waking and the first cup of coffee by telling himself that tomorrow might be a little easier.

This morning he found himself whistling. He noticed it, stopped himself, forgot it and started up again.

He saw himself in the mirror, smiled wryly, then grinned. «You incorrigible old goat. They'll be sending the wagon for you any minute now.» He noticed a white hair on his chest, plucked it out, didn't bother with many others just as white, went on making himself ready to face the world.

When he went outside his door Jill was there. Accidentally? He no longer trusted any “coincidence” in this menage; it was as organized as a computer. She came straight into his arms. «Jubal — Oh, we love you so! Thou art God.»

He returned her kiss as warmly as it was given, grokking that it would be hypocritical not to — and discovered that kissing Jill differed from kissing Dawn only in some fashion unmistakable but beyond definition.

Presently he held her away from him. «You baby Messa lina… you framed me.»

«Jubal darling … you were wonderful!»

«Uh … how the hell did you know I was able?»

She gave back a gaze of clear-eyed innocence. «Why, Jubal, I've been certain ever since Mike was asleep — in trance — he could see around him quite a distance and sometimes he would look in on you — a question to ask or something — to see if you were asleep.»

«But I slept alone! Always.»

«Yes, dear. That wasn't what I meant. I always had to explain things that he didn't understand.»

«Hrrrmph!» He decided not to pursue it. «Just the same, you shouldn't have framed me.»

«I grok you don't mean that in your heart, Jubal. We had to have you in the Nest. All the way in. We need you. Since you are shy and humble in your goodness, we did what was needful to welcome you without hurting you. And we did not hurt you, as you grok.»

«What's this “we” stuff?»

«It was a full Sharing-Water of all the Nest, as you grok — you were there. Mike woke up for it… and grokked with you and kept us all together.»

Jubal hastily abandoned this inquiry, too. «So Mike is awake at last. That's why your eyes are shining.»