Stranger in a Strange Land

For a moment Sam looked like a crash victim. Then his face was clean and even sauce that spattered on Jubal's shirt was gone. «Don't give her any more, Tony. She wasted it; let her go hungry.»

«Plenty in the kitchen,» Tony answered. «Sam, you look good in spaghetti. Pretty good sauce, huh?» Dorcas's plate sailed out, returned loaded.

«Very good sauce,» agreed Sam. «I salvaged some that hit me in the mouth. What is it? Or shouldn't I ask?»

«Chopped policeman,» Tony answered.

Nobody laughed. Jubal wondered if the joke was a joke. Then he recalled that his brothers smiled a lot but rarely laughed — and besides, policeman should be good food. But the sauce couldn't be «long pig,» or it would taste like pork. This had a beef flavor.

He changed the subject. «The thing I like best about this religion — »

«“Religion”?» Sam interposed.

«Well, call it a church.»

«Yes,» agreed Sam. «It fills every function of a church, and its quasi-theology matches up with some real religions. I jumped in because I used to be a stalwart atheist — and now I'm a high priest and don't know what I am.»

«I understood you to say you were Jewish.»

«From a long line of rabbis. So I wound up atheist. Now look at me. But Saul and my wife Ruth are Jews in the religious sense — talk to Saul; you'll find it's no handicap. Ruth, once she broke past the barriers, progressed faster than I did; she was a priestess long before I became a priest. But she's the spiritual sort; she thinks with her gonads. Me, I have to do it the hard way, between my ears.»

«The discipline,» repeated Jubal. «That's what I like. The faith I was reared in didn't require anybody to know anything. Just confess and be saved, and there you were, safe in the arms of Jesus. A man might be too stupid to count sheep … yet conclusively presumed to be one of God's elect, guaranteed an eternity of bliss, because he had been “converted”. He might not even be a Bible student and certainly didn't have to know anything else. This church doesn't accept “conversion” as I grok it — »

«You grok correctly.»

«A person must start with a willingness to learn and follow it with long, hard study. I grok that is salutary.»

«More than salutary,» agreed Sam. «Indispensable. The concepts can't be thought about without the language, and the discipline that results in this horn-of-plenty of benefits — from how to live without fighting to how to please your wife — all derive from conceptual logic … understanding who you are, why you're here, how you tick — and behaving accordingly. Happiness is functioning the way a being is organized to function … but the words in English are a tautology, empty. In Martian they are a complete set of working instructions. Did I mention that I had a cancer when I came here?»

«Eh? No.»

«Didn't know it myself. Michael grokked it, sent me out for X-rays and so forth so that I would be sure. Then we got to work on it. “Faith” healing. A “miracle”. The clinic called it 'spontaneous remission' which I grok means “I got well”.»

Jubal nodded. «Professional double-talk. Some cancers go away, we don't know why.»

«I know why this one went away. By then I was beginning to control my body. With Mike's help I repaired the damage. Now I can do it without help. Want to feel a heart stop beating?»

«Thanks, I have observed it in Mike. My esteemed colleague, Croaker Nelson, would not be here if what you are talking about was “faith healing”. It's voluntary control. I grok.»

«Sorry. We all know that you do.»

«Mmm… I can't call Mike a liar because he isn't. But the lad is prejudiced in my case.»

Sam shook his head. «I've been talking with you all through dinner. I wanted to check it myself, despite what Mike said. You grok. I'm wondering what you could disclose if you troubled to learn the language?»

«Nothing. I'm an old man with little to contribute.»

«I reserve my opinion. All the other First Called have had to tackle the language to make any real progress. Even the three you've kept with you have had powerful coaching, kept in trance during most of the few occasions we've had them with us. All but you … and you don't need it. Unless you want to wipe spaghetti from your face without a towel, which I grok you aren't interested in.»

«Only to observe it.»

Most had left the table, without formality when they wished. Ruth came over and stood by them. «Are you two going to sit here all night? Or shall we move you out with the dishes?»

«I'm henpecked. Come on, Jubal.» Sam paused to kiss his wife.

They stopped in the room with the stero tank. «Anything new?» asked Sam.

«The county attorney,» someone said, «has been orating that today's disasters are our doing … without admitting that he doesn't know how it was done.»