Saraband for Two Sisters

Richard returned to the house and I wondered how I could endure the days when I might come upon him at any moment and the long evenings when Angelet sat with her tapestry frame or her embroidery and he and I sat opposite each other with the small chess table between us. Sometimes I would find his eyes upon me and I would look up quickly to catch him gazing at me, but I could not read his thoughts. He might have been assessing my possibilities in the marriage market.

Once I said to him, “Are you still contemplating marrying me off?”

“Your marriage is a matter to which we must give some thought,” he replied.

“And we have, Bersaba,” cried Angelet. “I assure you we have. Haven’t we, Richard?”

He bowed his head in assent.

“It is good of you to give me so much of your attention. Angelet did not seek a husband.

Fate brought him to her. I should like it to happen to me that way.»

“That’s stupid,” said Angelet. “If she stays here she will never meet anyone, will she, Richard?”

I wondered whether he liked the manner in which she referred everything to him. I supposed he did since it showed she was the meek and docile wife. “I am content here,” I said looking at him.

I saw his lips lift slightly, which meant he was pleased.

“Nevertheless, Bersaba, it would not be fair to you. I will arrange something.” I gave my attention to the chess, for I could not bear to hear him talk as though he would not be deeply affected if I went.

I went to my room. I knew I would be unable to sleep for thinking of what I had done. I wondered what my mother would say if she ever heard of it. She would make excuses for me, I did not doubt, but secretly she would be so shocked that she would never recover from it. She loved my father singlemindedly, I knew, but if he had married someone else she would have turned away from him and been prepared to live a life of regret-possibly unmarried, possibly with a second-best.

People like my mother, who were fundamentally good, would never understand the overwhelming temptations which came to people like myself. I could be strong, but this need within me-which I had felt for Bastian-was something which when it was at its full obliterated everything.

I rode over to the Longridge Farm, where I was greeted by Ella. Her brother was out on farm business, she told me.

How neat and prim she looked in her plain gray gown and white apron. I wondered what she would say if she knew of my wickedness. She probably would not receive me here, for Puritans, living such pure lives themselves, were apt to be very harsh on the sins of others.

She talked for a while about the virtues of her brother and how she feared that he might be overbold. Terrible things could happen to those who wrote what was called sedition and was in fact truth.

“I always remember hearing of Dr. Leigh ton, a Scotsman who wrote An Appeal to the Parliament; or a Plea against Papacy. He was publicly whipped on two occasions and stood for two hours in the pillory. His ears were cut off, his nostrils slit, and his cheek was branded with the letters SS, which stood for Sower of Sedition.” I shivered. “Your brother must not run those risks.”

“Do you think he will listen to me?”

“I doubt it. It is so with martyrs. They never listen to those who would preserve them.”

“Dr. Leighton is out of prison now.”

“Perhaps then he can live in peace.”

She turned on me fiercely. “What do you think? Ten years the King’s prisoner! He has lost his sight, hearing, and the use of his limbs. I suppose that could be called a sort of peace. And all for setting down his thoughts on paper that they might be shared with others!”

‘We live in cruel times, Ella.”

“It is to change them that Luke and men like him risk their lives.” We were silent for a while. How quiet and peaceful the farmhouse seemed. My mind went back to Far Flamstead and I wondered what Richard was thinking. What if he were to mention the night to Angelet? What would happen then? Luke Longridge came in and I couldn’t help noticing how his eyes lit up at the sight of me. I exerted all my power to attract him because I needed some diversion. I must stop thinking about the half-farcical, half-tragic situation at Far Flamstead which I had created.

“You look somber, sister,” he said, but his eyes were on me.

“We were speaking of Dr. Leighton.”

“Oh, yes. There is some agitation about him. I am hoping that before long he will regain his health.”

“After ten years!” said Ella bitterly. “His life is finished. I doubt he has retained his reason.”

I looked straight at Luke and said, “It is a warning to people who would fly in the face of those who have power to harm them.”

He sat down at the table, his eyes burning with that fanatical pleasure which talking of these matters gave him.

“Nay!” he cried, “he is an example to us all.”

“An example not to follow!” I cried.

“Mistress Landor-“ I interrupted him. “Pray call me Bersaba. We are good friends, are we not?»