Saraband for Two Sisters

“I daresay Mother would rather I married someone near home. She won’t want to lose both of us.”

“She will not want what is happier for her, but for you. You will make a more suitable match here and I think she would like us to be together.” I wondered if she would if she knew. Dear Mother, whose love had run so smoothly.

How horrified she would be if she knew what had happened last night.

“Is that what you want, Angel?”

“You know it is. I feel part of me is missing when you’re not here.”

“Yes, we are very close together are we not? We are like one person.»

“It’s true and it’s right that we should be together. I hope you will marry someone from the Court. It will have to be a grand marriage for you, Bersaba. You always wanted the best.”

“It will have to be as grand as yours.”

“Oh, grander. You always had to score, didn’t you? You always thought you would marry first.”

“You had the start while I was laid low.” I lifted my fringe. “And look at me now.»

“It doesn’t detract from your looks, really it doesn’t. It makes you more interesting, and when you think how you got them ...”

“I can’t live on that glory forever,” I said sharply. “It never matters how one acquires scars. All the world sees is that they are there.”

“Richard said we must have a husband worthy of you.”

“Did he? When?”

“Some time ago. He has a great regard for you, Bersaba. He said you would be a help to a husband. You’re clever, he said. You should marry some official at Court. He said you would be a mistress of intrigue. Yes, that’s what he said.»

“Did he indeed!”

“Oh, he said it most kindly. He really has great respect for you. I know he wants to get us to Whitehall so that he can find a good husband for you.»

“It is kind of him to be so considerate,” I said coldly.

And I was thinking, “He didn’t know. He couldn’t. Yet how could he not?” He stayed in Whitehall for a week. Was it Army affairs or was it because he knew and did not want to come back to this bizarre situation?

I could not rest. I should go away, of course. It was right that I should. But I longed to see him again. At one stage I almost felt that I would go to him and try to explain what I felt. I must somehow bring an end to this intolerable state of affairs. I was dreadfully uneasy about Angelet and could not bear to contemplate what her horror would be if she knew what had happened. She would never understand. I kept thinking of that smile of relief on her lips as she slept after she had taken her dose and escaped her obligations. Then I could find some consolation in the reminder that I had only taken what she did not want-and indeed had feared. But I could not be truly consoled.

I suggested that Angelet and I ride over to the Longridge Farm. We did and were made very welcome there. Luke took us into his study and read some of his pamphlets to us. I found them interesting because they gave me such an insight into the man’s character. He was such a fierce reformer; he was deeply religious and believed that the King in setting himself up as the ruler by divine right was comparing himself with God. He talked with vehemence about the extravagance of the Court and the wickedness of the Queen, whose aim was clearly to introduce Catholicism to the country. “It is something we shall never have,” he cried, striking the table with his clenched fist, and I could imagine his preaching to a crowd.

I was fascinated by his doctrines to a certain extent, but more so by him. He was a Puritan who believed that life should be lived in the utmost simplicity; he scorned our gold and jeweled ornaments, our blue cloaks with their silken lining; yet at the same time I could see that he admired this finery in a way. I knew too that I interested him. When he talked, his eyes never left my face and although my thoughts were full of Richard and yearned

 for him, I could not help but be pleased by this man’s admiration, particularly because it was grudging and he could not help being aware of this innate sensuality of mine even though he fought against recognizing it. It was the essence of femininity in me which appealed to the masculinity in him. It was something nature had given me and which nothing could destroy.

When we rode out from the farmhouse I felt elated.

Angelet said, “There is no doubt that Luke Longridge is taken with you.”

“Oh, come,” I said, “you are not still husband hunting?”

“Indeed not there,” she replied, laughing. “I cannot see you mistress of a farmhouse ... and a Puritan one. You are far too vain and fond of finery. All the same, he found it hard to take his eyes from you.”

“That is because you are a married woman and I am single.»

“No, it was something else. I think Ella saw it. She was a little uneasy. She need not have worried, I am sure.”

“I too am sure,” I said, laughing.

And so we rode back to Far Flamstead, which was dreary and unwelcoming because Richard was not there.