Polynya

The bulky steamsuit may give him some leverage, but Ryuk can tell by the way FeeTwix is moving that he’d like to take to the air and lay down some firepower. But every time he tries to move away and activate his flying capabilities, the orc lunges for him, and tries to pry the front of the steamsuit open.

Finally, FeeTwix gets the opening he needs.

He kicks off the orc’s chest, blasting the mahoosive son of a giant with a cloud of steam out of the bottom of both his feet. Once in the air, his Gatling gun starts rotating as he fills the orc with lead.

We’re winning! Ryuk thinks as he goes for another mag of black molten marbles. He takes a step back, and as he does, someone grabs him from behind, disarms him, and cuffs his hands together.

“Hey!”

Ryuk is pushed to his knees by a man wearing sleek black armor and a facemask.

Before he can make out his features, the man grabs Ryuk’s cuffs and disappears. They land amidst the mayhem below and Ryuk’s tossed to his stomach. The man flashdances away, and soon Hiccup meets the same fate.

“What the fick?” the goblin cries out. “Who the hell is that?”

Ryuk’s heart stops.

Aiden? He recalls the immiNPC who was one of the first members of the Knights of Non Compos Mentis. He’d only met Aiden once or twice, but he’s the only person that Ryuk has seen move in that way.

Zaena, partially recovered, starts whirling her blades around her body to prevent the masked man from cuffing her.

Ryuk pushes himself up as best he can just to see Aiden’s handle appear as a peculiar rifle takes shape in his hands.

Aiden Level 99

HP: 6969/6969        

ATK: 6,888      

MATK: 313

DEF: 3,320

MDF: 2,459

LUCK: 119  

 

Aiden pegs Zaena with a netgun, which Ryuk instantly connects to the weapon FeeTwix first used to stop the Thulean back in Sotla.

FeeTwix zooms towards Aiden in his steamsuit and the masked man is gone in a flash. A series of explosives at FeeTwix’s big brass feet toss him backwards and Aiden takes shape on top of the steamsuit as it crashes to the ground, causing a small crater and creating a small cloud of dust.

Before FeeTwix can swipe Aiden away with his buster sword, Aiden uses a sword that looks suspiciously like the Swede’s slice bang to crack the steamsuit cabin open.

He reaches in, yanks FeeTwix out, and golden cuffs appear on the Swede’s wrists. FeeTwix struggles, tries to access his inventory list, and as he does, Aiden grabs him by the top of his overcoat and pulls him over to Ryuk.

From there, Aiden drags Hiccup over, who kicks, screams, and farts the entire way, and he keeps Zaena pinned with the bolonet.

“Aiden!” Ryuk shouts. “It’s me! I was a Knight!”

“You know this ficker?” Hiccup yells incredulously. “What the fick, Marbles, I thought the Knights would receive us well!? Fick! I lost my pacifier too! Coming down over here … this is shit, real shit.” The goblin starts to shiver. “Someone find my pacifier! I was a Knight too!”

The Empress’ royal guard, known as the Knights in White Satin because of their long white capes, take shape around the pinned and cuffed Mitherfickers. The captain of the guard turns to Aiden and growls, “We got it from here, immiNPC.”

“It’s Aiden,” he says, “and I was here first.”

“You’re out of your jurisdiction, immiNPC,” the captain says. “That’s right, the Knights have no jurisdiction because you’re a fucking guild. Did you somehow forget that?”

The captain looks from Aiden to the four Mitherfickers.

“That’s the one who attacked Empress Thun earlier.” He points at Ryuk. “Like I said, we’ll take it from here. Pay my regards to Sophia.”

A wolfish grin appears on Aiden’s masked face. He nods and dematerializes one pixelated line at a time.

“This is for Empress Thun!” The captain approaches Ryuk, pulls his armored foot back, and kicks him square in the jaw.

Chapter 25: Mani-Pedi and a Royal Confession

“Fick you!” Hiccup screams as he’s tossed into a damp and dirty cell.

The wall of the cell has a single bench on it large enough to fit two people. Next to the bench is a bedpan with a steaming pile of shit in it, and resting on the floor next to the bedpan is a pillowcase that looks to be filled with rocks.

There are no windows, the only light available comes from between a series of slats on the ceiling.

Ryuk is the last to go in.

The guard throws him in the hardest, and he stumbles forward and faceplants on the rock pillow, where he’s gifted a whiff of the bedpan.

He dry heaves, again tries to move his hands to log out, and once he realizes that he can’t, he uses his chin to push himself back to a kneeling position, and from there, he stands.

FeeTwix’s eyes flicker as he reads messages from his fans. “Shit!” he laments. “No one knows anything about what’s going on outside of the city.”

“And inside?” Ryuk asks.

Zaena plops down onto the bench, just about as furious as Ryuk has ever seen her.