Polynya

I wonder what would happen if I showed Hiccup what Hajime showed me? he thinks, remembering the way Hajime told him to visualize his breath. Breath in, bring in the color green. Breath out, exhale red.

Of course, Ryuk can hardly focus long enough to even visualize the color, but he did feel better after the breathing exercise, and he will definitely be doing a breathing exercise before he meets his brother and his mother tomorrow.

He shudders.

It’s going to be an awkward meeting that will likely revolve around what happened in the apartment. Their mother doesn’t normally put her fingers in their day-to-day affairs, but when she does, she has a habit of quickly taking over and crushing any opposition that stands in her way.

“So anyfick, like I said, Lizzy, I’m not a racist.”

“You just spent five minutes telling me all the types of people you hate for a variety of petty reasons such as the color of their skin or their general height, yet you say you aren’t racist.”

Ryuk fires off a private message to Zaena.

Ryuk: It is impossible to argue with a goblin. You’ve been warned.

Zaena: Let me try this then.

She snaps her fingers in the air. “You know what, Hiccup, you’re right. You aren’t racist. I was wrong. Everyone else is racist,” she says in a way that actually sounds sincere.

“Pfft!” Hiccup laughs long and hard. “You’re an idiot, Liz, everyone knows I’m racist. Did you hear all that shit I just said? ‘I don’t like giants because they are big and the color of their skin reminds me of the diarrhea that happens after a night of guzzling drorikh?’ I hate to break it to you, but that’s racist!”

FeeTwix turns to Hiccup and his eyes flash blue. “Enough, Hiccup. You’ve really set off a huge discussion about race on my feed and if you didn’t already know, when any online discussion of race comes out, there’s bound to be a troll lurking.”

“You guys have trolls too?” Hiccup’s eyes go wide. “Fick those guys. All of them are lazy, and most have poor personal hygiene.”

“Yes, we do have trolls, but not in the way that you think.”

The goblin continues. “Are your trolls greasy little-minded fickers that like to fick with people just to see their reactions and actually do this under the guise that they are being serious yet on some levels, they are being serious? Are they fat? Generally less educated? Of questionable hygiene?”

FeeTwix considers this. “Well, I don’t know if all of them are, but that’s definitely a subset.”

Hiccup pauses to consider this. “Damn, everything I learn about your world up there makes me hate it more. At least trolls here are pretty easy to kill.”

He goes from a conversation about trolls, killing trolls, best torture practices for trolls, to a conversation about the various ways he’d cook Oric’s big black wolf if he were allowed to kill it. By the time the goblin reaches this topic, Ryuk has long since tuned him out.

Breathe, he thinks.

It’s a nice night, cold and breezy, and after he’s lifted his brown hood over his head to block the wind, Ryuk slows his pace so the three can walk ahead a bit.

His Extreme Focus kicks in, and he keeps his eyes on their surroundings just in case.

(0)__(0)

The four Mitherfickers arrive at Lake Klattenhoff, which is smaller than the lakes Ryuk is used to seeing in the real world. Lake Okutama, Suwa Lake, Lake Kitaura – the lakes in Japan are large and plentiful, places to spend vacations or to take short weekend trips.

Ryuk has taken a few of those, mostly when he was younger, when his family actually traveled together. He recalls biking around Suwa Lake with his brother, tailed by two of his father’s hired muscle. Not until he was older did he realize how odd it was to have security everywhere he went.

But that’s a different life, a life far removed from where he currently stands, in front of quaint Lake Klattenhoff surrounded by sand dunes licked with frost.

It’s noticeably colder here, and Ryuk comes up with the clever idea of palming a pair of molten marbles to keep his hands warm. It works, and he keeps the marbles gripped tightly as he approaches the lake and looks to the northern shore.

A series of tents lit with lanterns are pressed up against the shoreline. A few herders sit around a campfire warming their hands. On the far side of their camp are several griffins, their feathers reflecting the light from the lanterns.

Griffin herders, he thinks.

In the spring, once the frost melts, griffin herders hold an epic race that spans from the top to the bottom of the floating continent. The winner gets an audience with Empress Thun and rare sponsored items. Last year, it was a Wendy’s Hut stuffed crust bacon burger helm that gave the wearer plus fifty defense and also allowed them access to exclusive eateries all across Tritania, famed for their food which permanently increases HP.