Polynya

Ryuk leaps over a bush, nearly trips, gets his footing, and keeps his marble gun trained on the bird’s ass. He’ll take any shot, but his Cherry Poppin’ Daddy Skill would definitely leave the bird begging for mercy.

He keeps his Marble Gun trained on the bird, and he’s just about to fire off a round of molten marbles when the creature turns, pulls back, and screeches, sending a tunnel of wind in Ryuk’s direction.

Whack!

-69 HP!

He hits the ground hard after colliding with a tree branch. Another rocket sails over his head. Ryuk looks up just in time to see it pass right next to the bird, who has veered off to the left, Hiccup in its grip and Zaena trying desperately to climb up to its neck.

“I’m going with a hack!” FeeTwix announces.

Ryuk stands, rubs his temples for a moment, and takes off the other way once the bird has swooped back around.

“Shit!” He pops his molten mag out and replaces it with sword marbles. He keeps running, aimed directly at the shore of the lake. He glances over his shoulder, back to his path, and over his shoulder again.

The bird is gaining on him.

If I can just …

Ryuk takes a deep breath and increases his speed. The bird chases and just as it is about to snap at him with its ginormous beak, Ryuk drops onto his back, slides forward, and with his marble gun aimed over his head, fires all eight sword marbles at the approaching bird.

-85 HP! -106 HP! -32 HP! -66 HP!

The bird lifts and drops Hiccup, who lands on Ryuk and for once doesn’t let loose a cloud of putrid fecal fumes.

“Get off me, Hiccup!”

“Shit, Marbles! Fick this! Fick this! I’m going back to Jatla!” The goblin pushes himself off Ryuk and accidently stumbles over him again as he tries to flee. This time he does remind Ryuk what DD’s BBQ must have tasted like, and it takes all of Ryuk’s willpower not to pistol-whip the living shit out of the gaseous goblin.

Zaena flips off the flailing bird and superhero lands next to Hiccup.

The charochakcha hits the ground, scrambles to its feet and …

Schoooom!

A bolt of green energy at least two meters tall rips through the soil. It connects with the large bird, rips its head and shoulders off in a spray of blood, and continues past the now dead creature, where it eventually takes out a large oak tree.

Instakill!

Level up! LUCK +1

Ryuk Matsuzaki Level 16 Ballistics Mage

HP: 426/495                

ATK: 103         

MATK: 134

DEF: 81

MDF: 56

LUCK: 14

Ryuk feels a pouch form on his belt and a prompt appears.

New marble acquired! Gravity marbles change the gravitational pull of the object it connects with. It will pull a flying object to the ground, and move a semi-stationary object to the nearest surface. It can also be used to hurl an enemy into an object.

A new marble?

“Hey, I got a new marble,” Ryuk informs his guildmates.

“What kind?” Zaena stands near him now, brushing off her armor. There are a few scrapes and nicks on her, but the huge smile on her face tells Ryuk that she lives for this kind of action.

“A gravity marble.”

“We’ll have to test that out.”

“Fick!” Hiccup says as he watches the bird’s body continue to burn with a green fire. The goblin looks down the line at FeeTwix, whose mutant hack crossbow has already returned to its original shape. From there, he looks back at the bird, nodding as he takes in the Swede’s handiwork.

“Not fickin’ bad, Twixy,” he says as a large knife appears in his hand. “Liz, set up camp by the water. Marbles, get out my sleeping bag. We can fick with your new marble later. Let’s carve this bitch up while the meat is still smoking.”

“I don’t have your sleeping bag,” Ryuk says, still unsure if it is a good idea to breathe after the foul stench that the goblin just bequeathed onto the digital world.

“FeeTwix does. That reminds me.” Hiccup takes a cherry-flavored, generic healing potion out of thin air and downs it. “Fick me, that’s the good stuff.” He reviews the label. “Cherry Apollos, huh? Fick, this is a good potion. I’ll have to write this one down.”

He burps, and tosses the bottle over his shoulder. Another potion appears and he savors this one, doing his best to clean inside the bottle with his boily tongue. “Yeah, it’ll give me heartburn later, and if this doesn’t, this oversized pigeon over here definitely will. But them’s the ropes. Come on, Mitherfickers, let’s camp.”

“I’m not eating that.”