Polynya

“That’s why she joined us,” Zaena reminds him. “Also, we talked about it in the ship, after you left to go to your ‘safe space’ after being ‘cheated,’ as you put it.”

“You two were cheating,” he says bitterly, “and I didn’t go to my safe space. I went to the latrine, or whatever the hell the bathroom is called on a ship.”

“You’ll love Katiyana,” Enway calls over her shoulder. “It’s a quaint mountainside village. So pretty at night, especially with all the stars.”

“I fickin’ hate elves, those hoity toity high and mighty fickers,” Hiccup grumbles. “Drows, I can get down with, but fick high elves.” His expression suddenly changes as a sly grin spreads across his face. Again, he tugs at Ryuk’s sleeve. “You don’t think there’s a whorehouse there, do you? ‘Cause that’s something I can totally get behind! Get it?”

Hiccup snorts at his own crude joke and Ryuk pulls his arm away. He steps to the front of the group, and keeps quiet as Enway leads them past a small roadside stand manned by a short gnome with a long white beard and Buddy Holly glasses.

“Hey!” the gnome calls after them.

He reaches his hand around and beats it on the front of his stand. “Young adventurers! Slayers of dragons, um, never mind that last part! Yes! Yes! Yes! Rescuers of the imprisoned and handsome commoners! Goblins galore, do I have a deal for you!”

Zaena stops and the short gnome’s eyes lock onto her Unigaean necklace. “Me-oh-my-oh-me, it’s really a piece of Olivas, isn’t it? Marvelous!”

Ryuk quickly reads the sign on top of the gnome’s stand: Marty the Gnome’s Overland Tours. He glances at Enway and she shrugs. “Works for me.”

“Works for you? Not yet I don’t! I must prove my worth, young adventurers! Please, allow me … ” Marty the Gnome hops off a stool and comes around to the front of his stand.  “I’ll start with admiring your necklace, Thulean beauty.”

Zaena smiles. “It was a gift.”

“A gift from Unigaea,” he says as a memory sweeps over his face. “I am from Unigaea, I’ll have you know. I came here several years ago. I love Polynya, mind you, but one can never forget their homeland.”

Hiccup takes two steps closer to the gnome, sizing him up. He’s two heads taller than the immiNPC and at least two sizes larger.

“And this chic goblin. What might I ask is your name?”

“Chic?”

“Chic! A great name!”

Hiccup bares his teeth. “The name is Hiccup.”

“Short for Hiccupanaratapana, correct?”

Hiccup’s snarl turns into a slight grin. “Yes, that’s … that’s my full name.”

“And may I say, I love what you’ve done with your pink hair, neat arm too. And you, marble slinger, put your hood on and let me see how cool you look.”

Ryuk gives him a funny look.

“I’m waiting,” Marty the Gnome says, his voice pitching up.

“Don’t keep the man waiting, Marbles.”

“Fine.” Ryuk pops his brown hood up and quickly pulls it back down.

“Astounding! And you, the black-eyed blondo hero of the group, put ‘er there!”

Marty and FeeTwix bump fists. “Pleasure to meet you, Marty!”

“The pleasure is all mine. Ah yes, finally we come to the elf, a tall and beautiful elf if I’ve ever seen one! With luscious locks and pointed ears and skin the color of cream, you must be, without a shadow of a doubt, royalty.”

Zaena’s smile shatters and she covers it by looking away.

“Just any old elf,” Enway says, kicking at the ground.

“Why good! Good! And you are in need of transportation, are you not? Might I suggest Sulitlana, where you will find the most delectable treats? We could also head to Talini, if you’d like to see ancient Tritanian culture in practice. How about Naklan, home of the infamous game of Natty Dread!”

Hiccup whips his finger out of his nose. “Fick no! You see this tin can of an arm? This is what happens when you play Natty Dread, that or you lose your chalupa.”

“Churro,” Enway corrects him.

“Ah, then I know the perfect place for you, Hiccup, a city to the far east called Bluwid, which is a goblin hotspot, as I’m sure you know!”

“Second only to a goblin wetspot!” Hiccup chortles at his own joke and Marty joins him.

“Okay, okay, enough silly talk, let’s talk business. I’m going to be honest with you five because I like you. I love the diversity, from a goblin to an elf to a Thulean to a couple of pretty standard commoners.”

“Pretty standard?” Ryuk asks under his breath.

“And the ice dragon! How can I forget that cute little ice dragon. You guys have some quest ahead of you, I’m sure, which is why I think we should start with my very best tour package, the Diamond Platinum Plus Package, which gets you passage to any city in Polynya aside from Porthos as it is closed down, but including Waringtla, the Saiduka giant city. This all-inclusive package includes complete protection against any enemy forces, a covered wagon with an open bar inside, a full body massage, as well as a Unigaean lullaby that will put you to sleep immediately, so you awake in the new city well rested.”

“The cost?” Hiccup asks, suddenly growing suspicious.