Polynya

“For you five, the cost is significantly cheaper than the other adventurers I meet. I love the diversity, like I said, but let’s not talk cost first, let’s talk needs.”

“No, let’s talk cost, Marty,” FeeTwix says, taking the lead. His eyes flash blue and he offers the gnome a smile. “We’ll start there, then we’ll get to needs.”

“The cost is a low, a very low, forty-five thousand rupees after a ten percent diversity and inclusion discount.”

Zaena gawks at the cost. “For passage to any city? We could walk to the next city for free!”

“But my dear! There are all sorts of enemies that, ahem, adventurers under level twenty will not be able to face. That said, there are two more exciting packages I can offer.”

“Or we can find another wagon.” Enway nods to a few more wagons down the way with their drivers out front, calling out costs.

“By the Empress’ impressive stature and humorous musings! Those wagons?” He laughs. “Paltry, pathetic, pacifistic drivers who, by the way, actually work with many of the bandits that frequent the wagon paths. So sure, go check their prices, be my guest.”

“Enough with the fickin’ shilling, gnome, what’s your next package?”

Marty the Gnome takes off his glasses, wipes something off the lens, and returns them to his face. “My next package is a dang good deal if I do say so myself! The Silver Ruby Bonus Package is similar to the Diamond Platinum Plus Package in the sense that it provides transport to any city in Polynya, aside from Porthos. This package includes protection from enemies as well as a covered wagon, but it doesn’t include any of the amenities of the Diamond Platinum Plus Package.”

“Got it, got it,” Hiccup places his hand on his toe knife. “The cost. How about starting with the cost.”

“A low, low price of thirty thousand rupees,” Marty says. “With a diversity discount of three thousand rupees.”

“Fick no, I could buy a new arm for that price, Marty. What’s your most affordable package?”

“Ah, the pleasant peasant package, as we like to say around here.” He glances around and laughs as if others are joining him. “The Bronze Crystal Super Package includes transportation to anywhere on Polynya, aside from Porthos. The wagon is not covered, and no protection is given. The cost is eight thousand rupees.”

“Done.” FeeTwix claps his hands together. “We can provide our own protection!”

“Are you sure? There are Magic Gorgers along the way. They don’t always come out, but when they do, it can be quite terrible.”

“Pfft! It’ll be a cold day in the Goblin Riviera when I’m afraid of a Magic Gorger. Any way you can throw the massage in there for 2k more?” Hiccup squeezes his trapezius. “I think I fickin’ slept wrong, that or bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders has finally paid its toll.”

“Not in this package, I’m afraid.” Marty turns from them to ready the wagon. “But I’m sure one of your guildmates would be happy to give you a massage!”

(0)__(0)

As the Mitherfickers ride in their uncovered wagon towards Katiyana, Ryuk turns his backpack around and admires Yangu. He’s been so distracted since getting him, or bonding with him, that he hasn’t really had a chance to just look the baby ice dragon over.

Yangu’s blue skin tone lightens as it moves from his head, arms and back to his stomach. His scales aren’t yet sharp, especially the ones on the back of his neck, and his ruby red eyes are nearly shiny enough for Ryuk to make out his reflection.

The baby dragon coos as Ryuk touches his muzzle. It blows out a single snowflake, which melts before it can reach Ryuk’s face.

He sits closest to the driver, Marty, and next to him is Enway. Across from them are FeeTwix, Zaena, and Hiccup, who is currently using FeeTwix’s mirror to make sure his pink hair looks okay.

I wonder how long it will last. Ryuk thinks back to his botched Simple Request that gave the cantankerous goblin his pink topknot. His thoughts then move to his clear marbles, the wild card marbles, and if there will ever be a way to better utilize them.

A time marble would be helpful, and he’s been lucky enough to get several of those through his clear marble, but some of the other things the clear marbles have done, such as increasing his enemy’s attack power, make him wary these days of using them.

His sword marbles, black marbles, and molten marbles all seem to do the trick, leaving little to chance. And maybe that is the best strategy for him going forward, short and sweet, black and white. Eliminate the chance of failure.

Ryuk tunes back in to what Enway is telling the group.

“ … That’s why those men were after me, because I stole this.” She brandishes a little metal heart with gears inside. “It’s a mechanical heart. They stole it from this dealer who specializes in items from Steam, and I stole it from them. Pretty sure it’s worth something.”

“Thieving from a bunch of inbred thieves,” Hiccup murmurs. “I like it!”