Polynya

Risks: Typical risks associated with joining up with an unknown traveler.

With a flick of his finger, the map of Polynya pops up. Katiyana isn’t far from Porthos. The original plan was to head to Talini, but this could work too …

Ryuk fires off a message to the guild.

Ryuk: What do you think?

FeeTwix: My fans have pulled some data on her. She seems genuine. We’ll keep an eye on her.

Zaena: I’m fairly certain the catacombs connect Katiyana to Porthos, so there’s bound to be a way to the city through there.

“Fine, fine.” Ryuk accepts the quest.

Enway Zoltan, Level 15 White Mystic, has temporarily joined your guild!

“She’s part of our guild now?” The goblin turns to Ryuk and shakes his head bitterly. “I’ve said this once, and I’ll fickin’ say it again until it sticks: whatever happened to extreme vetting?”

With that, Hiccup throws his hands into the air and presses forward.

(0)__(x)

Hiccup’s relation with Captain Rehab of the Pequod offers the goblin yet another chance to prove his worth to the Mitherfickers.

As soon as they approach the ship and the captain spots them, he welcomes the goblin with open arms. Captain Rehab is a portly fellow with two peg legs, two parrots, and no hooks. That said, he does have small brooch featuring a pair of crossed hooks pinned to his lapel.

The Pequod is ramshackled and pieced together, with patched over dents in its hull, a deck in need of a good scrubbing, and a rudder that flaps in the wind like the tail of a fifteen-year-old pooch.

The private suite given to the Mitherfickers, however, is “the cleanest on the ship” according to Captain Rehab, and he isn’t far off. The suite is comfortable and clean, with a hint of lemon in the air.

Ryuk takes a seat on a bench beneath a porthole and Enway soon joins him. He places the backpack containing Yangu between them, and she goes to town cuddling and tickling the baby ice dragon.

Meanwhile, Hiccup sets up shop at a table at the far end of the room with his partner in crime, FeeTwix. Zaena joins them, taking a seat on FeeTwix’s lap.

“Get your jewelry out,” Hiccup announces. “You too, Marbles.”

“I don’t have any jewelry,” he reminds the goblin.

“Like fick you do. A nancy boy like yourself probably has a toe ring, at the very least.”

Ryuk clenches his fists together.

“Whatever, suit yourself. What about you, Elfy?”

“The name is Enway, goblin.”

“The name is Hiccup, Elfy,” he growls. “We clear here? Or do I need to spell it out again?”

Enway gives Ryuk a pained expression.

“He grows on you, trust me,” Ryuk assures her.

“Sorry, Hiccup, fresh out of jewelry.” With that, Enway returns her attention to the baby dragon. “You’re a cutie, yes you are!”

“For fick’s sake.” A pair of cards appears in Hiccup’s mechanical hand. “What about you, Twixy? You got anything?”

George the Fourth’s State Diadem appears on the table. The crown is covered in over 1,000 diamonds, all of them Proxima cubic zirconia. Of course, Hiccup doesn’t know this. He’s practically drooling on the crown as he snatches it from the Swede and turns it over in his hands.

“This is fickin’ beautiful, Twixy!” Hiccup places the crown on his head. “Fick you, Liz. I’m king around here. Take your reptilian ass below deck!”

Zaena pinches Hiccup’s cheek with her ghost limb and he cries out in pain.

“Fick, that stings!”

“Viewer surge!” A mirror appears in FeeTwix’s hand while Hiccup tries on the crown. “Hey peeps, speaking of diamonds, if you’re into conflict-light diamonds, check out De Beers latest collection! What’s conflict-light, you ask? These diamonds are mined in areas that have 50% less conflict than other parts of Africa! What says ‘goodbye life savings’ better than a diamond? De Beers is proud to offer fans of my channel 3% off at checkout and free shipping, just mention #FeeTwixRox at checkout. Don’t forget – they now sell high quality cubic zirconia pieces too! A jeweler can’t even tell the difference on these ones!”

“Wait a fickin’ minute … ” Hiccup removes the diamond studded crown from his head and examines it for a moment. His pulls his toe knife from the shiv on his belt and points it at FeeTwix. “You tryin’ to pull a fast one on me, pretty boy?”

FeeTwix looks to Zaena and they both laugh. “That’d be such a funny fight,” Zaena says, practically beside herself. “You’d kill him nine times before he could even jab at you with that pathetic little knife!”

“I already have my weapon out, Liz.” Hiccup stabs the toe knife into the table so it sticks vertically out of its surface. He tosses the crown to the floor. “If we’re going to play this game, I want some real jewelry.” He looks the Thulean over for a moment. “Howzabout your necklace, the one from that other world?”

“Unigaea,” Ryuk says. “The necklace is from Unigaea.”