A Murder Is Announced

Mrs Swettenham was once more deep in the Personal Column.

‘Second hand Motor Mower for sale. Now I wonder…Goodness, what aprice!…More dachshunds…“Do writeorcommunicate desperate Woggles.” What silly nicknames people have…Cocker Spaniels…Do you remember darling Susie, Edmund? She really washuman. Understood every word you said to her…Sheraton sideboard for sale. Genuine family antique. Mrs Lucas, Dayas Hall…What a liar that woman is! Sheraton indeed…!’

Mrs Swettenham sniffed and then continued her reading:

‘All a mistake, darling. Undying love. Friday as usual.-;J…I suppose they’ve had a lovers’ quarrel-or do you think it’s a code for burglars?…More dachshunds! Really, I do think people have gone a little crazy about breeding dachshunds. I mean, thereare other dogs. Your Uncle Simon used to breed Manchester Terriers. Such graceful little things. I do like dogs withlegs…Lady going abroad will sell her navy two piece suiting…no measurements or price given…A marriage is announced-no, amurder. What? Well, I never! Edmund,Edmund, listen to this…

A murder is announced and will take place on Friday, October 29th, at Little Paddocks at 6.30 p.m. Friends please accept this, the only intimation.

What an extraordinary thing!Edmund! ’

‘What’s that?’ Edmund looked up from his newspaper.

‘Friday, October 29th…Why, that’stoday.’

‘Let me see.’ Her son took the paper from her.

‘But what does it mean?’ Mrs Swettenham asked with lively curiosity.

Edmund Swettenham rubbed his nose doubtfully.

‘Some sort of party, I suppose. The Murder Game-that kind of thing.’

‘Oh,’ said Mrs Swettenham doubtfully. ‘It seems a very odd way of doing it. Just sticking it in the advertisements like that. Not at all like Letitia Blacklock who always seems to me such a sensible woman.’

‘Probably got up by the bright young things she has in the house.’

‘It’s very short notice. Today. Do you think we’re just supposed to go?’

‘It says “Friends, please accept this, the only intimation,”’ her son pointed out.

‘Well, I think these new-fangled ways of giving invitations are very tiresome,’ said Mrs Swettenham decidedly.

‘All right, Mother, you needn’t go.’

‘No,’ agreed Mrs Swettenham.

There was a pause.

‘Do you reallywant that last piece of toast, Edmund?’

‘I should have thought my being properly nourished mattered more than letting that old hag clear the table.’

‘Sh, dear, she’llhear you…Edmund, what happens at a Murder Game?’

‘I don’t know, exactly…They pin pieces of paper upon you, or something…No, I think you draw them out of a hat. And somebody’s the victim and somebody else is a detective-and then they turn the lights out and somebody taps you on the shoulder and then you scream and lie down and sham dead.’

‘It sounds quite exciting.’

‘Probably a beastly bore. I’m not going.’

‘Nonsense, Edmund,’ said Mrs Swettenham resolutely. ‘I’mgoing andyou’re coming with me. That’ssettled!’

***

‘Archie,’ said Mrs Easterbrook to her husband, ‘listen tothis.’

Colonel Easterbrook paid no attention, because he was already snorting with impatience over an article inThe Times.

‘Trouble with these fellows is,’ he said, ‘that none of them knows the first thing about India! Not the first thing!’

‘I know, dear, I know.’

‘If they did, they wouldn’t write such piffle.’

‘Yes, I know. Archie, do listen.

A murder is announced and will take place on Friday, October 29th(that’s today),at Little Paddocks at 6.30 p.m. Friends please accept this, the only intimation.’

She paused triumphantly. Colonel Easterbrook looked at her indulgently but without much interest.

‘Murder Game,’ he said.

‘Oh.’

‘That’s all it is. Mind you,’ he unbent a little, ‘it can be very good fun if it’s well done. But it needs good organizing by someone who knows the ropes. You draw lots. One person’s the murderer, nobody knows who. Lights out. Murderer chooses his victim. The victim has to count twenty before he screams. Then the person who’s chosen to be the detective takes charge. Questions everybody. Where they were, what they were doing, tries to trip the real fellow up. Yes, it’s a good game-if the detective-er-knows something about police work.’

‘Like you, Archie. You had all those interesting cases to try in your district.’

Colonel Easterbrook smiled indulgently and gave his moustache a complacent twirl.

‘Yes, Laura,’ he said. ‘I dare say I could give them a hint or two.’

And he straightened his shoulders.

‘Miss Blacklock ought to have asked you to help her in getting the thing up.’

The Colonel snorted.

‘Oh, well, she’s got that young cub staying with her. Expect this is his idea. Nephew or something. Funny idea, though, sticking it in the paper.’

‘It was in the Personal Column. We might never have seen it. I suppose itis an invitation, Archie?’

‘Funny kind of invitation. I can tell you one thing. They can countme out.’

‘Oh, Archie,’ Mrs Easterbrook’s voice rose in a shrill wail.

‘Short notice. For all they know I might be busy.’