Voices in a Haunted Room

There is a flush in your cheeks. There is that in your voice which tells me you know as well as I do that you and I are meant for each other. It is fate, my dear Claudine.

There is no going against it. You shouldn’t have rushed into this absurd marriage ... then it would have been so much easier. Now what are we faced with? Subterfuge ... intrigue ... secret meetings ... stolen ecstasy.”

“What on earth are you talking about? I’m going now.”

He stood by the door watching me. I felt a terrible fear and an almost suffocating excitement. If I attempted to walk past him he would catch me and hold me captive.

I dared not do that and yet ... what else?

I hesitated and he went on: “You know very well what I’m talking about. Why do you pretend, Claudine? You betray yourself in a hundred ways. Do you think I don’t know you want me as much as I want you?”

“You are quite ... depraved.”

He laughed. “No,” he said. “I am just in love, and I am not the man to stand meekly by while others take what is rightly mine.”

“Rightly yours! Have you forgotten that I happen to be married to your brother?”

“That makes no difference. You and I belong together. David is a good fellow ...

a very good fellow. He should have a pleasant quiet little wife. Not my fiery Claudine.

She is not the wife for him. You are young and know nothing of love and passion and all the delights which I am waiting to show you. You would never learn them from David. He’s worthy ... oh yes ...

rather a noble fellow. He would never step aside from the path of respectability.

But I am not like that. I defy conventions, Claudine, and so will you. They are made for people like David, not for us.”

“I wish you would stop talking about David. He is my husband and I love him dearly.

I am very contented with my life.”

“When you talk so emphatically I know you are seeking to convince yourself. You are not satisfied. You thought you were. Look at you now. Your heart is fluttering and your eyes are alight with anticipation. Why are we wasting time in futile words?”

He approached me and when I attempted to elude him he caught me and held me firmly.

He lifted me from the floor and held me in his arms as though I were a baby.

“You see, I am a great deal stronger than you are, Claudine.”

“What do you think you are doing?”

“Showing you what has to be done.”

“Jonathan, put me down. I want to talk to you seriously.”

He lowered me and putting his arm about me led me to the bed. He sat down with me beside him; he had his arm tightly round me and he put his hand on my heart. “How it beats!” he said. “It beats for me.”

“I want to go home at once,” I said.

“I thought you wanted to talk seriously.”

“I do. I want to say you must stop this, Jonathan. Don’t you see how impossible life will be? You ... living in the same house. Either we shall have to go away or you will. It would be easier for you. You could go to London. You are there a great deal with your banking and secret activities. Go and stay there. It will be better for us all.”

He laughed. “I should not see you then. Would you condemn me to a life of frustration?”

“Please don’t talk like this.”

“What then should I talk of? The weather? Sophie’s acquisition of this house? Is it going to snow before Christmas? Can you believe she has taken Enderby! No, my little Claudine. I have weightier matters on my mind. You, my lovely one. I am obsessed by you, Claudine. Claudine ... my Claudine ... who is different from all other women ... who is a child and yet a woman ... who has so much to learn, which I shall have to teach her. But she will be willing to learn. I detect that willingness. In fact, my dearest love, it is one of the qualities which I find so attractive.”

“I wish you would talk sensibly. I must go back. I think it was very wrong of you-very inconsiderate to send that message to Molly Blackett. I remember that other occasion when she was making my dress ...”

“Oh yes, and the silly creature came back too soon. History repeating itself, coming events casting their shadows before them. But this time she won’t come, will she?”

“I must go.”

I stood up and he was immediately beside me.

“I can’t let you go, Claudine.”

“I am going.”

“How can you if I won’t let you?”

“You mean you will hold me here ... against my will?”

“I’d rather you stayed willingly.”

“Willingly ... What for? I am going now.”

He had his arms round me. “Claudine, listen to me.”

“There is nothing to listen to. There is no explanation. This is monstrous. I shall tell David ... I shall tell my mother and your father.”

“What a little teller of tales! You won’t, you know.”

“You seem to have made up your mind what I shall and shall not do.”

“Claudine, I love you. You and I belong together. A few words said in a church can’t alter that. What is between us is there for ever. It’s like my father and your mother.