The Anubis Gates

Doyle frowned thoughtfully. “Did he… say why?”

“He sure did.” The beers arrived and Benner took a hearty swig. “He told us all to keep our eyes peeled for a man who’ll have five o’clock shadow all over himself and ask for an all-body treatment. Darrow told us to shoot him with a tranquilizer gun, tie him up, and carry him upstairs, and not to hurt him at all beyond the tranquilizer bullet, which damn well better not hit him in the face or throat. And get this, Brendan: I asked him, boss, what does this guy look like? I mean, aside from having whiskers all over himself. You know what Darrow told me? He said, I don’t know, and even if I did know, the description would only be good for a week or so. Now—are those the words and actions of a sane man?”

“Maybe, maybe not,” said Doyle slowly, eyebrows raised, reflecting that he now knew far more about Darrow’s plans than Benner did. “How does all this bear on your plan to get us home?”

“Well—say, do you still have your mobile hook? Good—Darrow knows the times and locations of all the gaps. And they’re pretty frequent around now, the 1814 one isn’t the closest. So we’ll bargain with him, get him to tell us the location of the next one, and we’ll go and be standing in its field when it comes to an end, and snap! Back we’ll be in that empty lot in modern London.”

Doyle took a long puff on the—he had to admit—excellent cigar, and chased it with a sip of beer. “And what are we selling?”

“Hm? Oh, didn’t I say? I’ve found his hairy man. Yesterday he came in, just like the old man said he would. Short, chubby red-haired guy with sure enough five o’clock shadow all over him. When I started edging toward the trank gun he got spooked and ran out, but,” Benner smiled proudly, “I followed him to where he lives. So this morning I was listening in on Darrow’s room—trying to find out if he was in a mood to be approached with an offer of you give me my hook and tell me where’s a gap and I’ll tell you where your hairy man lives, and by God, I hear Darrow telling Clitheroe to tell all the boys Benner is to be shot on sight! Seems he doesn’t trust me. So after emptying one of the cash boxes, I split, and went and talked to the hairy man myself. Had lunch with him just a few hours ago.”

“You did?” Doyle thought he’d rather have lunch with Jack the Ripper than Dog-Face Joe.

“Yeah. Not a bad guy, really—wild-eyed, and talks about immortality and Egyptian gods all the time, but damned well educated. I told him Darrow did have the power to cure his hyperpilosity, but had some questions for him. I hinted that the old man intended to torture him—which, for all I know, he may—and that he’d need a middleman, a mouthpiece, to deal with Darrow through. I said I’d been one of Darrow’s boys, but had quit when I heard about the atrocities he planned to commit upon this poor son of a bitch. See? But I still had the problem of the shoot Benner on sight order Darrow had given his men.” Benner grinned. “So you become my partner. You talk to Darrow, negotiate the deal, and then you share the payoff—a trip home. I figure you’ll say something like this.” Benner sat back and cocked an eyebrow at Doyle. “We’ll tell old King Kong not to come see you, Darrow, until he gets a letter from us. And we’ll give that letter to a friend—I know just the girl for it—with instructions to mail it only if she sees us disappear through one of the gaps. So you give us a hook and the location of a gap, and if our girl sees our empty clothes fall—and you see, she might be a hundred yards away in a treetop or window, so you can’t hope to find her—then your hairy man will get the go see Darrow message.”

Doyle had been trying to interrupt. “But Benner,” he said now, “you forget that Darrow’s issued a kill Doyle order too. I can’t approach him.”

“Nobody’s after you, Brendan,” said Benner patiently. “For one thing, everybody thinks I killed you, and for another, they remember you as the chubby, healthy-looking guy who gave the speech on Coleridge. Have you looked in a mirror lately? You’re emaciated, and pale as a guy in a Fritz Eichenberg engraving, and there’s about a hundred new lines in your face—shall I go on? Okay—and now you’re definitely bald, and to top it all off, your goddamn ear seems to be gone. How’d you do that? And I noticed the other day you walk funny. Frankly you look twenty years older. Nobody’s going to look at you and think, Aha, Brendan Doyle. So don’t worry. You just go into that depilatory parlor and say something like, ‘Hi there, a friend of mine grows fur all over his body, let me talk to your boss.’ And then when you see Darrow you set up the deal. At that point you can admit you’re Doyle—he won’t dare hurt his only link with Mighty Joe Young.”