Strange Sally Diamond

‘What was the point in telling you something that didn’t make sense? I never even thought about it when that teddy bear arrived. Did your brother send it to you? Did he sleep in the small white bedroom, Sally?’

‘Yes.’ Peter had taken Toby with him when he left. I couldn’t imagine what he wanted with the bear.

‘How strange that evil man was, to separate mother and son, brother and sister, and yet have them living a room apart. Did you like him, your brother?’

‘Peter? Yes, I really did. I understood him. He was moody and silent a lot of the time, but it must have taken so much courage to get on a plane and cross the world to come and tell me the truth. I think he was very brave. I’m so upset that he’s gone.’

I felt a shuddering in my chest, as if all the air was being squeezed out. I began to sob real tears for the very first time I could remember. Aunt Christine held me and I put my head on her thin shoulder, and it seemed like every sorrow I should have felt for decades came pouring out on to Aunt Christine’s kitchen table. She stroked my head and made soothing noises, the way mothers do to small babies.

She wanted to know why he had never gone to the police and I explained about his anxiety, his social isolation, his fear of strangers, the brainwashing over years with my birth father. She wanted to know if he had succeeded in life, at least professionally.

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘He was head of cyber security at a bank headquarters. I think he’ll probably go back to that job.’

‘So, he’s okay financially, then?’

‘Oh, he certainly is.’ I told Aunt Christine about Margaret’s death and the inheritance and how I’d shared it with Peter before he left.

‘Hold on,’ she said, ‘how long after you gave him the money did he leave?’

‘Straight away. There was a lot of fuss about the money and I had to transfer it to him in cryptocurrency –’

‘So, wait, he came, stayed for two months, you gave him a million euro, and then he disappeared?’

‘He didn’t disappear, he went home. He said he didn’t feel like he could fit in.’

She was quiet then for a few moments.

‘Sally, did you ask anyone’s advice before you gave him this money?’

‘No, I didn’t. I’m an adult and it was my money.’

‘You don’t think that might be why he came?’

‘Absolutely not. Nobody knew I had that money. I didn’t tell anyone.’

‘But he knew you didn’t work for a living; he knew you lived in a beautiful new home.’

I was annoyed now. Why did she think I was a fool?

‘He was entitled to the money, Aunt Christine. Ever since I started going to therapy, I’ve been told to work on my trust issues and to give people the benefit of the doubt. Now you’re telling me that Dad was terrible, you’re implying that my brother only wanted money from me. Dad loved me.’

‘Didn’t you just tell me that Peter said the same thing about your birth father?’

‘Are you comparing Tom Diamond with Conor Geary?’ I could feel the anger within me. I jumped up and stood over her.

‘Of course not, I –’

‘Don’t you dare speak to me about them in the same breath. They were nothing like each other …’ I stopped myself, appalled at my own temper taking over again. Aunt Christine had stumbled backwards out of her chair and was now standing behind it, as if she needed to protect herself from me.

I took a deep breath. ‘I … I’m going to bed.’

Aunt Christine was silent. I should have apologized but I was still incensed by her words. Was my mum, Jean, also a victim of domestic abuse, physical and emotional? It was all too much.

It was not yet 10 p.m. Next day was Saturday. I was due to play in Farnley Manor.

Aunt Christine stayed in her room while I had breakfast alone on Saturday morning. I was distressed and sat at her piano, but I couldn’t bring myself to lift up the lid. Eventually, I left the house without saying goodbye and hailed a taxi to take me to the station.

On the train, my phone rang. It was Angela. ‘Sally, you have terrified Christine, she just rang me in floods of tears.’

I didn’t say anything.

‘Can you hear me?’

‘Yes,’ I said.

‘And that guy who was staying with you is your brother? I can scarcely believe what she told me. Why didn’t you come to me? And why didn’t you go to the guards with him?’

‘It was none of your business and it wasn’t Aunt Christine’s business to tell you.’

‘Who else knew about this? Mark?’

‘Yes, he’s family. It’s our own private business.’

‘You are supposed to tell me when … You gave this guy a million euro?’

‘What about you, Angela? What about the truth you never told me?’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Is it true that Mum was going to leave Dad? Was he violent towards her?’

I heard her deep sigh at the end of the phone. I desperately wanted her to deny it. But she said nothing. I hung up. Everyone in the train carriage was staring at me.