Spyware

“Yes,” she said, softening a fraction. Spurlock smiled back. Women always went for it when you complemented their brats.

“You see, ma’am, I hate to bother you like this, but I’ve got to pick up my brother and his kid in Livermore. There’s a baseball game there today. And, well anyway, they went off leaving me with an empty tank and no cash. Can you believe it?”

“I see,” she said, stiffening. They always did that as soon as you mentioned cash. A Frisbee lost in the backyard? Sure, no problem. Ten bucks? Different story. Sometimes he thought it was easier to get into a woman’s pants than it was to get a few bucks off her.

“I’m real embarrassed to have to ask like this, ma’am. I just need a small loan, see, until I get back. Just two hours, then you’ll have your money. If you want to ask my mother about it, I could take you over there. She’ll back up my story.” Spurlock didn’t even sweat the ‘meet my mother’ line. When he had first come up with it a couple of years back he had figured on taking them to an empty house where he had previously knocked and play some bit about mom not wanting to get out of bed. These days, he didn’t even worry about it. He had learned that no one wanted to follow you down the street to meet your old mom. They would give you the cash or they wouldn’t, but they wouldn’t follow you down the street.

“I don’t know,” she said.

On cue, he pulled out his wallet and showed it was empty. “See ma’am? If you could see your way to helpin’ your neighbor, I would really appreciate it.”

Reluctantly, she lifted her purse from a side table and slowly dug into it. She shifted the brat’s weight from one hip to the other. Spurlock watched her and fantasized about doing her. It had been quite a while since he had had a nice clean housewife like this one. Too bad he was on the run.

She looked back up at him and she must have seen the leering glint in his eye. She looked flustered. “Here,” she said, shoving a five at him.

Normally, he would have taken it and left. But this was the fifth house he had hit. He needed more than five friggin’ bucks.

He took the five and conjured a look of vast disappointment. He chewed his lower lip. “My truck gets good mileage, ma’am, but there’s no way I can make it to Livermore on a five.”

She was silent and so was he. He didn’t look at her. He let the tension build. She had already sprung for five to get rid of him, so why not ten?

“I’ll have to ask my husband,” she said, “that’s all I have.”She left the door ajar behind her.

Spurlock waited with mild trepidation. He slipped the five into his front pocket and looked back at the Ranger. He thought about bolting, but that might lead to a call to the police. He didn’t need that right now.

Men required a slightly different touch. As the door opened again, he put back his grin and shoved a hearty hand at the guy. He was a fairly big, blond guy in shorts and a tank top. He ignored the offered hand and frowned. Spurlock knew right away he was screwed.

He began his story again, but could tell it wasn’t working. The guy listened in stony silence.

“Look,” Spurlock finally said. “I can tell that I’m bothering you folks and maybe I should just be on my way. I don’t want to be a bad neighbor.”

The blond guy seemed not to hear him. He slowly pulled out his wallet and flipped it open. “So, you’re looking for a little loan, eh?” he said.

Spurlock looked down at the wallet and his heart fell away into his shoes and died there. A big flashy badge all but filled the guy’s wallet. He was a cop, and Spurlock knew he had been caught. Still, the beauty of this scam was that it was very hard to prove any wrong-doing. He took a breath and pasted his smile back into place. He would bluff it through.

“Yes sir, if you could spare a five, that would do it for me. You’ll have it back in two hours-three tops.”

The cop glanced at him as if surprised he was still going for it. The bastard looked a bit off-balance and it made Spurlock sing inside to see it.

“Forget it,” he said, snapping his wallet shut.

So, the prick had been just baiting him. Spurlock nodded and smiled some more. “I’ll be on my way, then. And thanks for your time. I’m sure I’ll see you around soon.”

“Hold it a moment, please,” said the cop.

Right then, Spurlock could see the door of his Ranger. It was just a hundred yard dash away. It seemed like a mile. He kept walking, with a curt wave of the hand over his shoulder. The best was to play that he was a bit pissed and done talking.

“I said hold it a moment, sir,” said the cop. He had followed him out onto the driveway.

Spurlock whirled around and put on a slightly annoyed look. “Yes?”

“I’d like to meet this mother of yours.”

“Why? Look, if you don’t believe me, that’s fine. I’ll have to find some other way to get there. Here, here’s your wife’s money back.”

The cop looked down at the five in mild surprise. For just a second, Spurlock thought that he had him. Then his pig-instinct took back over and he refused the money. “Let’s go meet mom.”