Polynya

“Kill me and y’all can pass,” FeeTwix says, his voice suddenly the ink shadow’s. “But if I kill y’all, then you got to restart at the beginning of the catacombs. That’s a long ways away, trust that.”

Ink Shadow FeeTwix does a series of back flips and a few aerials that even the showboat Swede wouldn’t perform in a real battle. Once he has some distance, he tosses his double-bladed sword aside and begins scrolling through his list.

“Hiccup, cover Zaena! I’ll lay down some distraction. Wolf!” The canine looks over to Ryuk. “Um, just hang on a second!”

Ryuk fires the rest of his black molten mag at FeeTwix’s feet to lay down some cover.

“Damn, boy, best be careful with that gat!”

Debris kicks into the air; in the time it takes for the dust to settle Ryuk already has another mag loaded and ready to go.

“Liz, we’re going to need you here!” Hiccup says as his largest shield, his scutum, materializes in front of him.

Zaena swallows hard and gets behind Hiccup, just as a large wave of metal unhappiness berates the Mitherfickers.

Ratatatatatata!

Ryuk hits the deck as the bullets chip away at the bleachers.

“Damn! Never shot one of these before, shit’s got some kick!” the ink shadow says in his syrupy voice.

Ratatatatatata!

His Marble Gun up, Ryuk empties his mag in FeeTwix’s general direction. Meanwhile, Hiccup charges forward, bullets pinging off his huge shield. Zaena hunkers down behind him and Wolf has raced to the outer edge of the area, hoping to come around back.

“I see how it is! Y’all ‘bout to die!” FeeTwix switches to a weapon that sounds even crazier than the one he was just shooting.

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

The ink shadow laughs, his voice filling the arena and nearly drowning out the sound of gunfire as it ricochets off Hiccup’s scutum.

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

Hiccup shouts over his shoulder, sparks flying over him. “Marbles, get the ficker!”

“Trying to!” Ryuk goes for a mag of sword marbles, hoping to get off a tonsil shot or something equally gruesome that will end the fight before FeeTwix can get to any of his mutant hacks.

“Hold your fire, Marbles!” He keeps his weapon trained on the possessed Swede as Hiccup comes in charging with his biggest shield.

The shield connects, Hiccup goes over with it, and Zaena flings herself into the air with her ghost limbs. She comes down behind the Swede, and folds backwards at the waist to avoid the swipe from a giant ax made of cobbled together gears.

Seeing an opening, Hiccup goes in with a tomahawk. He swings down, FeeTwix blocks just in time, and for a moment, the two have a standoff to see who will give first.

My turn. Ryuk’s Extreme Focus warps his vision. Suddenly, there’s a reticle on the back of FeeTwix’s head, and with a steady breath out, he mentally fires two sword marbles.

FeeTwix pivots at just the right time and the two sword marbles go straight into Hiccup’s back.

-116 HP! -134 HP!

“Yeeeeeeooooooy!”

“Damn, y’all some stupid motherfuckers!”

The momentum sends Hiccup stumbling forward and he’s nearly decapitated by FeeTwix only to be rescued at the last minute by Zaena, who throws him a good fifteen feet away with her ghost limbs.

“Fick!” He smacks his back into the stone barrier that surrounds the arena grounds. A healing potion instantly appears in his hands. He falls to his side, and nurses it like a baby with a bottle as he watches Zaena zip around FeeTwix with all four blades.

“Argh!”

He gets a hit in on Zaena that cuts through her armor. She hits the ground and uses her ghost limbs to scurry away in regroup.

Come on. Ryuk is just about to fire off more sword mags when a shoulder mounted grenade launcher forms next to FeeTwix’s head. “Shit’s about to get real! Just squeeze the trigger, right, cuz?” A wicked grin spreads across the Swede’s face as tendrils of smokey liquid drip down his cheeks.

“Fuck!” Ryuk shoves a gravity marble into his mouth and leaps into the air. He hits an invisible airlane and jumps to another just in time. The blast sends splinters of stone into the air. Ryuk is only in the air for a moment longer before the gravity marble loses its juice.

-39 HP!

Not a graceful landing, but Ryuk recovers quickly, watching as Wolf leaps into the air and tackles FeeTwix. The two roll around for a moment.

Bang! Bang!

The Swede manages to get one of his shooting irons out and fires two shots directly into Wolf’s belly.

“Wolf!” Hiccup shrieks. “That’s my ride!”

The dog howls, and FeeTwix is just about to finish the job when Zaena hurls two of her blades at him.

She missed? Ryuk think as one of the blades barely nicks his left cheek. She can’t do it!

FeeTwix touches his face, examines the blood, and flicks it away. “Damn, girl, can’t kill ya man, can you? Guess he gonna have to kill you.”