Once there was a war

The lieutenant who had carried the white flag sat down on the steps of the city hall a little shakily. The captain sat down beside him. “Any trouble?” the captain asked.

“No. It was too easy. I don’t believe it yet.” He lighted a cigarette, and his shaking hand nearly put out the match.

“Wonderful job,” the captain said. “But what are we going to do with them?”

“Won’t the ships be back tonight?”

“I hope so, but suppose they don’t get back. We can’t let anybody get any sleep until we get rid of these babies.”

A trooper lounged near. “Those Jerry officers are raising hell,” he said. “They want to see the commanding officer, sir.”

The captain stood up. “Better come with me,” he told the lieutenant. “How many men did you tell them we had?”

“Six hundred,” the lieutenant said, “and I forgot how many cruisers offshore.”

The captain laughed. “One time I heard about an officer who marched fifteen men around a house until they looked like an army. Maybe we better do that with our forty.”

At the door of the officers’ cell the captain took out his pistol and handed it to one of the guards. “Leave the door open and keep your eye on us all the time. If they make a suspicious move, shoot them!”

“Yes, sir,” said the guard, and he unlocked and opened the heavy door.

The German officers were at the barred window, looking down on the deserted streets of the little town. They could see two lonely sentries in front of the building. The German Oberleutnant turned as the captain entered. “I demand to see the colonel,” he said.

The captain swallowed. “Er—the colonel? Well, he is engaged.”

For a long moment the German stared into the captain’s eyes. Finally he said, “You are the commanding officer, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am,” the captain said.

“How many men have you?”

“We do not answer questions,” the captain said stiffly.

The German’s face was hard and disappointed. He said, “I don’t think you have six hundred men. I think you have only a few more than thirty men.”

The captain nodded solemnly. He said, “We’ve mined the building. If there is any trouble—any trouble at all—we’ll blow the whole mess of you to hell.” He turned to leave the cell. “You’ll be taken aboard ship soon now,” he said over his shoulder.

Going down the stairs, the lieutenant said, “Have you really mined the building?”

The captain grinned at him. “Have we really got six hundred men?” he asked. And then he said, “Lord, I hope the destroyer gets in tonight to take these babies out. None of us is going to get any sleep until then.”

THE END.