On the Wings of Hope : Prose

Something is going on in the soul of mine, something very strange and unusual, something unclear for me. This is practically the same feeling, which have grown in me two days ago … some sort of vague doubts in fidelity of my own life and life of my earth brothers … Is even a morning prayer no more capable to purify my soul of these fatal doubts?

This feeling was born inside me after an appointment with his holiness Alex II the other day after I have given him the manuscript of my future book, so that he could tell me his opinion as well as his blessing for its distribution.

To give his blessing … he hasn’t given it! He not only hasn’t given the blessing, he was greatly angered and malicious … his highness was enraged … that’s impossible! That’s unimaginable! How, how can it be possible that such a great individuality was capable to fall from grace to the anger?! I didn’t trust own ears when he has begun his speech!

- Whether is it known to you, my son Peter, that by your … h-r-r-r-m-m-m … book … you ruin all precepts, given by our great Deputy?! - voice of his holiness was cold as a steel, some spiteful notes were breaking through.

- Father, how do I break his precepts? - I questioned.

- How? You dare ask me how you ruin his precepts? I’ll tell you, how! In that book of yours you mention that God himself was the maker of this world of ours, and you assert that our Patriarch is His humble servant. Our great deputy is not his “humble servant” - our Deputy is His son, the very incarnation of our Father in this world! He is the God, His embodiment! Whether it was not taught to you all in your church school, I wonder? Did you not learn that the word of our Patriarch is like the word of God himself, expressed through our Deputy, and thus it shall be the law for all divine children?!

- Your holiness, but how is that possible for a heavenly son to stand above his heavenly father? - I asked.

- To stand over his father? My son … - and his holiness choked - the father of ours is the Patriarch! He’s our father and the savior of souls of this world!

- But we’ve been told … - I tried to speak.

- You’ve been told? Tell me, my son, who spoke you all that things?

I mentioned mentor’s name of our spiritual school.

- I thank you, my son, you have performed a great service to us right now in a task of eradication of all … heresy.

I shuddered when he pronounced a word “heresy”. Heresy is a biggest crime, heresy deprives one of his inborn right to pass through a divine gate of paradise - so all holy churchmen told me … only my mentor spoke nothing on that subject. Why is he guilty in heresy, why?! How did he misbehave and broke divine will? And I asked his highness this question.

- He committed a crime by seducing divine children from their holy way, and is subject to be punished for this sin. We’ll carry out all necessary measures, - and his holiness made a sign for me to become silent and ask no further questions. And, having no power not to obey, I became silent … and that vague doubt started scraping in my soul once again.

Meanwhile his highness continued speaking.

Furthermore you state that for all sins made a divine son will be judged by his heavenly Father during a Sacred Court and “on their deeds they will be given”. Truly, “on their deeds they will be given”, but whether it’s known to you that our omnipotent Patriarch as an embodiment of the will of our divine Father was granted the right to either punish or grant a pardon to his sinful children in his endless favor and mercy in this world already?!

And then you keep writing: “… for only our unearthly Lord has a power over both real and unreal, and only His court is just and eternal …”. The court on the earth is conducted by our Patriarch! We, his humble servants, can only submissively carry out his will, which is also a will of our divine Father, having no right to ask useless questions on whether his judgment is just or unjust - for the judgment of our Deputy is eternally just and honorable, for he is the very embodiment of a God! Whether the cases are known to you … my son, - and his holiness choked once more, - when our great Deputy performed unjust judgments over his faithful children and servants?

- No, father.

- Right you are, my son. For his judgment is just and just eternally - forever it was, forever it will be, may his name shine in the heavens!

This very instant of time a blissful smile appeared on the face of his highness as if he has just seen the Second Coming of the Savior along with a retinue of divine angels. However, when he has looked up at me once again, his smile disappeared in a single instance.

- Yet this doesn’t forgive your … failures … my son, - and his holiness choked a third time.