Lament for a lost lover

“So you are left with the baby, eh?” he went on laughing. “Well, the two of them will grow up together. Let me look at the little fellow. He’s bonny.” He held out a finger which Edwin, with what seemed to me superhuman intelligence, grasped. “I think he’s taken a fancy to me.” I wanted to snatch my baby away. I was sure Carleton was thinking that Edwin’s existence robbed him of what he had been considering was his inheritance.

Carleton had brought a carriage and horses to take us to the house which was some three miles from the coast, and as we trundled along the lanes, everyone was exclaiming about the beauty of the countryside.

“Oh, those green, green fields,” cried Matilda. “How I have missed them! Look at the blooms on that horse chestnut. Oh, Arabella, do look over there, my dear-apple trees! Rose-coloured blossom, and look there’s white cherry.” We had, of course, seen green grass and fruit trees in blossom during our exile, but the fact that this was home endowed it all with a very special beauty.

It was indeed a lovely time of the year. The Restoration could not have come at a better time. We were all noticing the beauties of nature afresh-the bronze tufts of the sycamores and purple lilac and gold laburnum.

England. And we were no longer exiles.

And now we were at Eversleigh Court. Inevitably my mind went back to that day just over a year ago when I had arrived here with Edwin and Harriet. I could hear Carleton’s voice oddly enough rather than Edwin’s. “God preserve you, friend.” How well Carleton had done it. What an actor he was. He had not betrayed by a flicker of an eyebrow that he resented my baby, and yet he must do so, because merely by being born Edwin had deprived him of great estates and a noble title. “We are gradually getting the place back to normal,” said Carleton. “I had hoped, Uncle, that I should have done more by now. You will see how much I was able to save. It’s really a remarkable achievement.”

“You were always clever, Carleton,” said Lord Eversleigh. “By God, I’ve had need of my wits during the last year. I came near more than once to giving the whole show away. It wasn’t the easiest role for me to play ... that of the Puritan.”

“I’ll warrant it wasn’t,” Lord Eversleigh laughed. “But well done, nephew. It’s good to be home. One deep regret ...”

“I know,” said Carleton. “It was a tragedy.” He looked at me quizzically, and I felt myself disliking him afresh. “But you have the boy.”

“God takes away with one hand and gives with the other,” said Matilda. “I have lost my dear son but I have my new daughter. She has brought me great comfort and I am filled with a gratitude I find hard to express.”

She held out her hand and I took it.

“God bless you, Arabella,” she said.

“Arabella has given you your grandson,” put in Carleton. “I reckon that is a matter for rejoicing. Now come along and see what you think of everything.” He walked beside me, and I fancied that he watched me closely because he wanted to know what effect it had on me, coming back to the scene of my tragedy. I had never realized on my previous visit how beautiful Eversleigh Court was. I remembered clearly the high wall which surrounded the house and the gables which could be glimpsed above it. The gates were wide open and we rode in. The feeling of austerity was still there. It was too early to have changed it. The erstwhile flower beds still contained their herbs and vegetables. But a fountain was playing and the yews had been cut into fancy shapes. These stood out in the yards like an act of defiance to the recent regime.

“A shock to you, Aunt Matilda,” said Carleton. “But never mind. You will soon have your flowers again. You must remember that in my role of Puritan I had to get rid of them. They were so beautiful. The herbs and the vegetables were of use and therefore acceptable in the eyes of our lords and masters. Some of them are not without their charm, don’t you think?”

“Oh, Carleton, how did you endure it!” cried Matilda.

“In a way I quite enjoyed it. It amused me to hunt with the hounds while I was really running with the fox.”

“So few could have done it,” murmured his aunt.

We went into the hall. It had changed. The long table was shining and laid with pewter utensils. Velvet curtains had been hung at the minstrels gallery, which I had scarcely noticed before. A tapestry, obviously freshly brought from the secret store, hung on the walls.

“Home,” said Lady Eversleigh. “What can I say?”

Her husband put his arm through hers and pressed it.

We went up the great staircase. Several pictures hung on the wall-portraits of long-dead Eversleighs.

‘So you salvaged all this, Carleton!” said Lord Eversleigh.

“And more also,” replied Carleton proudly. “You will see in due course. But now let me conduct you to your rooms. I am sure you are in need of rest. I was not aware that there would be babies. We have no nursery available. It is years since we had one here.”

He grinned at me with what was meant to be an apology.