Lament for a lost lover

What a strange world we had dropped into. I found the situation enthralling. I was with my husband, adoring and adored; Harriet was close by; and we were all engaged in this thrilling adventure. For thrilling it was. Although in this household it was hard to believe that we were courting danger, this was, in fact, the case. I disliked the cousin, as I knew I should. I found him overbearing, arrogant and excessively conceited, which was his true nature. As the Puritan he positively nauseated me. Moreover, he seemed to regard me with an inner, supercilious amusement. He referred to me when speaking to Edwin as “your good wife,” and there was a hint of mockery in his voice and expression. To Harriet he maintained a cool, rather aloof attitude which I knew angered her. He was unusual certainly, for he did not offer her that ready admiration to which she was accustomed.

“I am not surprised,” she said rather waspishly, “that his wife goes off in search of other gallants. Who wouldn’t, married to him?”

She pretended to despise him, but for once she did not deceive me. Tom had gone off, ostensibly to the fictitious Chester residence, but in fact to a place not far off from where he would be summoned when the business was completed. Harriet and I did our tasks in the kitchens. We were not expected to wash floors or do the really dirty work, for Harriet had made it clear that we were the mistresses of our Chester household, and a though like all good Puritans we did not believe in idleness, we Were in the habit of doing more genteel work. The head of the kitchen was Ellen, the wife of Jasper who worked on the Eversleigh land. They had a daughter, now six years old, who bore the name of Chastity. Like all good little Puritans, Chastity was set to do her stint in the kitchen under her mother’s eye. There were Jane and Mary, two maids. More would have been considered an extravagance. I had to admire the way in which Carleton had adjusted to the times, while I realized that his ability to do so was an indication of his devious nature. How different from Edwin who was always so open and honest! Edwin had his tasks. They were out-of-doors, and often he would ride out with Carleton about the estate. I knew, of course, that this was part of the sounding-out process and that Edwin would be explaining to those trusted Royalist adherents, who like Carleton and the rest of us were awaiting the day of the return of the Monarchy, how many troops could be mustered and brought into the country should this be necessary. The great hope was that it would not be, and that it would be possible for the King to be invited back to his kingdom.

Being fond of children and having had young brothers and a sister of my own with whom I had spent a great deal of time, I understood them, and Chastity and I were soon friends. I found some slate and drew on this for her with a piece of charcoal, much to her pleasure. But her mother was not sure that Chastity should enjoy anything, and so I said I would draw letters on it so that she could learn to read. Ellen was puzzled. Was it good for Chastity to learn to read? If she had been meant to learn, wouldn’t God have put her into that society where she would have done so? She would have to consult Jasper.

Jasper, in her eyes, was the omniscient one. Jasper had fought in Cromwell’s army; he had been one of those who had always been against Royalty. He had been a serious man, a true Puritan and had not been afraid to admit it even in the days when it might have brought him into trouble with those who held opposing views and were in a position to enforce them. It was different at these times.

“We are the masters now,” Jasper had proudly told Ellen, and she was fond of repeating it in the kitchen.