Lament for a lost lover

It was a very sad, dark day when we buried him in the family vault in the Eversleigh churchyard. He had been a quiet, unassuming man for all his position, and he had been generally spected. Matilda was beside herself with grief. She told could not imagine life without him. “My dear Arabella,” she said, “you suffered a similar loss, dearest Edwin, taken in the prime of his youth. I cannot imagine which is worse, to lose a young husband or one who was become part of one over so many long and happy years.” I did my best to comfort her, and we were together a great deal j listened to her accounts of the pleasant life she had had since her marriage and how wonderful her dear husband had been all the time of Edwin’s death. “I could not have lived through that but for him,” she declared. “Dear Edwin, he was such another as ms father.” I thought, if she knew! But she must never know. “Thank God there is young Edwin.

He is Lord Eversleigh now.”

I had been thinking of that. We must be careful. I was not sure that it would be good for a boy of eight to know that he had title.

I heard Sally Nullens refer to him as “my little lord,” and cussed the matter with her.

“It’s better for him to get used to the idea gradually,” she “He’ll discover it sooner or later. Servants talk, you know, and you can’t stop them short of sealing up their lips. Boys will listen and there’s nothing will stop them short of plugging up their ears.”

Sally was wise with children, so I told Edwin what had happened. His grandfather, Lord Eversleigh, was dead and as his father, Lord Eversleigh’s son, was also dead, that meant that the young Edwin, was now Lord Eversleigh. “What shall I have to do?” he asked.

“Nothing that you didn’t do before,” I said. “Though you will have to be a little more thoughtful of others, a little more kind to people.”

“Why?”

“Noblesse oblige,” I replied, “which means that the nobly must act nobly and that rank carries with it special obligation.

“Well, I haven’t been born different, have I? Why should I have to change now?”

“It really shouldn’t be a change. You should have been kind and thoughtful before.”

Leigh, who had been listening, said: “Then I will have to be the same’ he supposed.

“You’re not a lord,” Edwin pointed out.

“I will be,” was Leigh’s retort. “I’ll be a bigger, better lord than 3U. You’ll see.” you. You’ll see.

You’ll see.

Yes, I thought, he was indeed Harriet’s son.

We did not celebrate Christmas with any great festivities because we were in mourning. On the other hand we could not ignore it altogether because of the children. The carol singers came, and so did the mummers who did a morality play and another about Robin Hood, Friar Tuck, Little John and Maid Marian, which the boys loved. The Dollan family, who lived some ten miles away, rode over and joined us for Christmas Day. They had recently taken the Priory, the nearest big house, and they had come to offer condolences at the time of Lord Eversleigh’s death.

They were delightful people-Sir Henry and Lady Dollan, their three daughters and a son, Matthew. Matthew was a lively young man interested in politics and this meant that he and Carleton got on well together. They met in London occasionally and Matthew had taken to calling quite frequently on us.

I was particularly interested in Matthew because, although he was very good company, there was in him a gentle streak. I encouraged him to come often. So passed Christmas Day. I fancied that we had managed rather cleverly in making a celebration for the children and at the same time not failing in our memory of Lord Eversleigh.

Before we retired that night, I looked in at the nursery as I always did. The boys were fast asleep, smiles of contentment on their faces. Priscilla in her cot was sleeping too. This was my dar first Christmas, but she had been unaware of it, naturally, at six months old. Next year, I thought, it will be different. Then she will be of an age to begin to take notice.

Sally Nullens came tiptoeing in from where she slept in the next room.

“Don’t wake them, mistress,” she said. “They’ve been up to tricks. Overmuch Christmas excitement ... too much for Master Leigh and for his lordship too.” I said good night and went to our bedroom where Carleton was waiting. He was in bed propped up with pillows.

He said: “Where have you been? Don’t tell me, I know. Drooling over your daughter, I have no doubt.”

“Your daughter too, sir,” I said.

“You will spoil that child.”

“I don’t think so.”

“It will be good for her when she has a few brothers.”

“She has Edwin and Leigh now.”

“I’ll swear they take little notice of her.”

“Oh, but they do. They love her.”

“Perhaps this time next year we’ll have a boy.”

“Why are men so set on sons? Is it because they so admire themselves that they are hoping to see themselves repeated?”

“That could be a very good reason.”

I was sitting at the mirror, brushing my hair. Carleton was silent watching me. I said: “It was a good Christmas Day considering the circumstances.”

“You found it so.”

“Didn’t you?”