All You Need Is Kill

“You know, it’s funny, me talkin’ to you like this. Hey, you don’t think she’d charge me for stealin’ her idea, do you? It’s not like she has a patent on it or anything.”

“What? What are you talkin’ about?”

“You’ll be fine.” He was snapping out of it pretty quick-he was no rookie like I’d been. I slapped him on the back. “You owe me, 4th Company. What’s your name?”

“Kogoro Murata, and I don’t owe you shit.”

“Keiji Kiriya.”

“That’s some attitude you got. Not sure I like it.”

“The feeling’s mutual. Let’s hope our luck holds.”

We bumped fists and parted ways.

I swept my head from left to right. I ran. I pulled my trigger. My body had long since passed exhaustion, but a part of me maintained a heightened sense of alertness impossible under normal circumstances. My mind was a conveyer belt sorting good apples from the bad-any piece of information that wasn’t vital to survival was automatically shut out.

I saw Rita Vrataski. The rumble of an explosion heralded her arrival. A laser-guided bomb fell from a plane circling overhead, far out of reach of the enemy. It covered the distance between us in under twenty seconds, detonating precisely where the Valkyrie had called it down.

Rita was headed for the spot the bomb had struck, a shattered mix of debris, equal parts living and dead. Creatures streamed from the crater toward her swinging battle axe.

Even in the midst of battle, seeing Rita’s red Jacket stirred something in me. Her mere presence had breathed new life into our broken line. Her skill was peerless, the product of U.S. Special Forces’ efforts to make a soldier to end all soldiers. But it was more than that. She really was our savior.

Just a glimpse of her Jacket on the battlefield would drive soldiers to give another ten percent, even if they didn’t have it left to spare. I’m sure there were men who’d see her and fall in love, like a man and a woman on a sinking ship spying one another between waves. Death could come at any moment on the battlefield, so why not? The wise guys who’d named her Full Metal Bitch had really fished around for that one.

I didn’t think they had it right. Or maybe I was starting to feel something for Rita Vrataski myself. That suited me fine. Trapped in this fucking loop, I had no hope of falling in love. Even if I found someone who could love me in one short day, she’d be gone the next. The loop robbed me of every moment I spent with someone.

Rita had saved me once, long ago. She had kept me calm with her random talk of green tea. She had told me she’d stay with me until I died. What better target for my unrequited love than our savior herself?

My OS continued to respond automatically, despite the distraction my emotions were giving it. My body twisted. I planted a foot on the ground. I didn’t have to think about the battle unfolding before my eyes. Thought only got in the way. Deciding which way to move, and how, were things you did in training. If you paused to think in battle, Death would be there waiting, ready to swing his scythe.

I fought on.

It was seventy-two minutes since the battle had started. Tanaka, Maie, Ube, and Nijou were all KIA. Four dead, seven wounded, and zero missing. Nijou had hung the poster of the swimsuit model on the wall. Maie was from somewhere deep inside China. He never said a word. I didn’t know much about the other two. I etched the faces of the men I’d let die deep in my mind. In a few hours their pain would be gone, but I would remember. Like a thorn in my heart it tormented me, toughened me for the next battle.

Somehow our platoon had held together. I could hear the blades of the choppers in the distance. They hadn’t been shot out of the sky. This was the best attempt yet. The platoon leader had no words for the recruit who’d taken matters into his own hands. Every now and then Ferrell would fire a few rounds my way to help out.

And then I saw it-the Mimic I’d fought in the first battle that had trapped me in this fucking loop. I’d fired three pile driver rounds into it that day. I don’t know how, but I knew it was the one. On the outside it was the same bloated frog corpse as all the rest, but here on my 157th pass through the loop, I could still recognize the Mimic that had killed me the first time.

It had to die with extreme prejudice.

Somehow I knew that if I could kill it, I’d pass some sort of boundary. It may not break this loop of battle after battle after battle, but something would change, however small. I was sure of it.

Stay right there. I’m comin’ for ya.