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“Oh, fine,” said Harriet with a wave of her paw. “Shanille and I had an argument about my solo last night. And Gran wants to become an influencer and she wants Brutus and me to star in her videos and her Instagram photos, so there’s that to keep us busy.”

“Gran wants to become an influencer?” I asked, not all that surprised.

“Yeah, she figures she can make a lot of money, and pay for an extension to the house.”

“Oh, dear.”

“She wants to become famous and then she’ll get all kinds of stuff for free,” Brutus explained. “Though I think the getting famous part is the hardest part, and that’s exactly the part she hasn’t really talked about much.”

“Yeah, she’s more focused on the free stuff she’ll be getting,” said Harriet. “Like free cosmetics, free clothes, free shoes, free trips… free cruises.”

“So she wants to take this cruise for free next year?” I asked. “Paid for by some company after she becomes a famous influencer?”

“That’s the plan,” said Brutus with a shrug.

“We met two influencers,” said Dooley. “But I don’t think they’re rich. I think they’re poor.”

“Poor influencers?” asked Harriet. “I didn’t know that was a thing.”

“And clearly neither does Gran,” Brutus grunted, darting a quick look over his shoulder to make sure Gran wasn’t listening in on our conversation.

“So how is the honeymoon going?” asked Harriet. “Do they lock you guys up in the bathroom at night or what?”

I frowned at our friend.“First of all, we have yet to spend our first night aboard, and secondly, why would Odelia want to lock us in the bathroom?”

“Because of the honeymoon, silly.”

I stared at her, then shook my head.“I don’t get it.”

“Oh, Max, you can be so naive sometimes. What do people do on their honeymoon?”

I thought hard for a moment, then I finally caught her drift.“Oh.”

“Or maybe they’ve got a second room or something?”

I looked around.“No second room. Just this one—and a bathroom. A very small bathroom.”

Frankly I didn’t want to spend the night in that bathroom. I’m not prone to claustrophobia, but I had the distinct impression that I’d develop the condition in that tiny space if I had to stay there for the next ten nights.

“Why would Odelia lock us up in the bathroom, Max?” asked Dooley.

“Well…” I said, and cast a hopeful look at Harriet. But she was merely smirking, and smoothing her whiskers, waiting for me to explain to Dooley what honeymooners actually did on a honeymoon.

“You remember how you told me that Odelia and Chase were going to do a lot of kissing and make a lot of babies, right?” I began.

“Yes,” Dooley said with an interested nod.

“Well… usually when humans engage in that kind of activity they don’t like to be disturbed. Especially by their pets, if you see what I mean.”

Clearly Dooley did not see what I meant, for he was frowning.“But why wouldn’t they want us to be there when they kiss?”

“Um…” I cast another hopeful look at Harriet and Brutus, but they merely stared at me, curious how I was going to extricate myself from this situation Harriet had maneuvered me in. “Well… most humans, when they… kiss, they like a little privacy.”

“But they kiss all the time, and they don’t seem to mind that we’re there.”

“Okay. No, I see why you would think that. But in actual fact they do mind, only they’re too kind to tell us. But here, on their honeymoon, I’m sure they would appreciate it if we made ourselves scarce when they engage in all of this… kissing, see?”

“Oh, Dooley, don’t you get it?” said Harriet, clearly having had enough of this pussyfooting around. “Honeymooners need their privacy. It’s as simple as that. Now where are you two going to be when they’re consummating their marriage?”

“Consummating their marriage?” asked Dooley.

“It’s just a phrase,” I said quickly. “It means they’ll be celebrating the fact that they got married by kissing a lot.”

“Even more than they normally kiss?”

“Just a little bit more, perhaps.”

“More like a lot more,” said Brutus with a grin.

“Thanks, Brutus.”

“Like, a lot a lot.”

“Yes, we get it.”

“Alot a lot a lot.”

“Brutus!”

“We could sleep on the balcony,” said Dooley.

“Excellent idea,” I said. “The nights are nice and warm out here.”

“It is a little cramped,” said Dooley, taking in our postage stamp of a balcony.

“We can make an effort,” I said. “For Odelia and Chase.”

“Oh, sure. Absolutely.”

“Great. Now that that’s settled, I’m going to leave you guys to it,” said Harriet. And both she and Brutus cutting a final grin in our direction, she severed the connection.

Moments later, Odelia and Chase returned to the room, and Dooley said,“We’ve agreed to sleep out on the balcony, Odelia, so you and Chase can consummate your marriage. Is that all right with you?”

“What did he say?” asked Chase when Odelia started laughing.

“He wants us to consummate our marriage and so he suggested that he and Max sleep out on the balcony tonight.”

Chase also started laughing, and Dooley turned to me.“Did I say something funny?”

“Of course not, Dooley. You just made them both very happy, that’s all. That’s why they’re laughing so hard.”