45ebf3c490593574dd454e5dfd5a5758

Odelia and Chase had tears in their eyes now, and were practically rolling on the floor. Dooley eyed them with suspicion.“They seem to bevery happy, Max.”

10

Instead of going to bed early, Odelia and Chase surprised us by inviting us for a walk on deck to enjoy some of that honeymoon romance under a moonlit sky. They didn’t have to tell us twice, as being cooped up on that tiny balcony for the rest of the night didn’t hold all that much appeal to me, to be completely honest.

So that’s why we now found ourselves taking a stroll on deck. There were still plenty of people around, but most of them were confined to the decks that offered the kind of nightlife your typical reveler craves. We, on the contrary, had sought out the relative peace and quiet of the upper deck, where only a few couples had the same idea as Chase and Odelia, and were strolling hand in hand or staring out across the vast ocean, taking in that fabled ocean air, and generally having a wonderful time.

Dooley and I decided to give our humans some space, and had taken up position near one of the lifeboats, which Dooley was studying carefully, presumably to see whether they were fit for duty if or when we happened to hit an iceberg.

I’d already told him there were no icebergs in the Caribbean, but he still seemed reluctant to accept that plain truth.

“There could be hidden icebergs, Max. The kind of icebergs you don’t see, and they’re even more dangerous than the ones that stick out.”

“Sure, Dooley.”

“I mean, an iceberg could have easily drifted here from the Arctic, a silent killer, taking down cruise ships, and the captain wouldn’t even know, because it’s dark out.”

“They have radar nowadays, and all kinds of sophisticated equipment, to make sure that kind of thing can’t happen. If there was an iceberg out there, the captain would know.”

“Still,” he said, casting a critical eye at the lifeboat and mentally fitting a life jacket. “I just hope that when the ship goes down that Odelia won’t make Chase float in the water. There’s plenty of space on that raft, Max. There’s no need for Chase to freeze to death.”

I had no idea what he was talking about, but since I’d just spotted our two feathered friends again, I gave them a little wave. Though I had to say they had this strange look on their faces. A little like Chase when he sees a nice, juicy steak.

“Hi there,” I said by way of greeting. “Nice evening for a stroll, eh?”

“Absolutely,” said Jack. “I’m surprised you guys are still here, though.”

“And why is that?” I asked.

“I would have thought that two lovely cats such as yourselves—succulent, tasty, full-bodied specimens—would have been snapped up by now.”

“Snapped up?” I said, having a little trouble following the thread of the conversation.

“Well, sure. You look like such a well-fed cat, Max—and you, too, Dooley—that I would have thought one of our friends would have taken a liking to you by now.”

“No, we haven’t met any of your friends yet,” I said.

“I guess this is our lucky night, Frank.”

“I guess it is, Jack.”

For some reason, I don’t know why, I was starting to get a little antsy. As I’ve already indicated these were two very large birds. And as I glanced around, I noticed for the first time that we were all alone out there—the deck now practically deserted. Which meant that if these birds weren’t as nice and friendly as we thought them to be, no one would defend us in case things got rough.

“We talked to a teacup Maltese today,” said Dooley. “He was very nice. He says he used to go on these kinds of cruises all the time, but lately his human has run into some financial trouble, and so now he stays at home with her most of the time.”

“Now isn’t that a pity?” said Jack with a nasty lilt to his voice that I didn’t like.

“A teacup Maltese, huh?” said Frank. “Not much meat on that carcass, then.”

“Not like Max over here,” said Jack. “How much do you weigh, Max?”

“Um… about twenty pounds? I have lost some weight.”

“Pity,” said Jack.

“Yeah, pity,” said Frank.

“Odelia put him on a diet,” Dooley explained.

“Terrible things, diets,” said Jack.

“Never lose weight, Max,” said his friend. “You’re perfect just the way you are.”

“And don’t let anybody tell you differently.”

“That’s what I keep telling him,” said Dooley. “Isn’t that what I keep telling you, Max?”

“Yeah, Dooley, you do,” I said, glancing here and there for an avenue for escape.

The two seagulls had hopped down from the railing and were now on deck, inching ever closer to where we were sitting.“Twenty pounds, huh?” said Jack, actually licking his lips—I didn’t even know that birds had tongues! “And what do you eat, Max? What do you put in that nice, round tummy of yours, eh?”

“Only the best of the best,” said Dooley proudly. “Our human doesn’t stint on the good stuff. The best kibble money can buy, the best wet food, and even some raw meat from time to time.”

“Raw meat, huh? Sounds like you’ve got it made, Dooley.”

“I like raw meat,” said Frank. “In fact I love it. Raw and bloody—the bloodier the better.”