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“Oh. Well, this is our human,” said Dooley, gesturing to Odelia, who was still talking a mile a minute to her new friends. “Odelia Poole. She’s a reporter and she’s here on her honeymoon. And that’s her husband Chase. He’s a cop.”

“A cop!” “said Salvatore, much surprised. “I didn’t know cops honeymooned.”

“Cops are just like regular people,” said Dooley. “They eat, they sleep, and they go on honeymoons.”

“Weird,” said Salvatore. “I always thought cops lived for their jobs. You know, take naps on their office couches. Wake up in the morning to grab a styrofoam cup of lousy coffee, eat lots of donuts and never take a vacation. And the only time they come near a woman is when they meet their ex-wives to argue about being late with their alimony.”

“I think you’ve been watching too many cop shows,” I told him. “Chase isn’t like that.”

“No, he doesn’t even have a couch in his office,” Dooley chimed in. “And he doesn’t eat donuts for breakfast. He does drink coffee, though, but it’s very delicious coffee, made with a coffeemaker. Except when Gran makes the coffee. Then it’s often undrinkable.”

“Gran?”

“Odelia’s grandmother lives with us now, and so do her parents, ever since Gran accidentally destroyed their house, so while it’s being rebuilt they all live together.”

“Huh,” said Salvatore. He probably had never seen that in any cop show.

“So how about your humans?” I asked. “Who do you belong to?”

“Bertha Biles,” said Salvatore proudly. “Best human in the world.”

“That’s impossible,” said Dooley. “Because Odelia is the best human in the world.”

“So maybe they’re both the best humans in the world,” I said, wanting to nip a potential argument in the bud. It’s never a good idea to get into an argument with a dog, even if he is the size of a teacup.

“You must lead an interesting life,” said Dooley, admiration clear in his voice. “Traveling all the time, going on cruise after cruise after cruise.”

“Not really,” said Salvatore with a shrug. “In fact this is the first cruise we’ve been on this year. Mostly we spend time at home nowadays.”

“Oh? But I thought Mrs. Biles said that you go on cruises pretty much back to back?”

“We used to, but lately money has been tight, and so we stopped doing that. Too bad, because sitting at home is not doing Bertha any good.”

“Did she lose all of her money?” asked Dooley, always interested in this kind of soapy story.

“I’m not sure, but it is true that she’s been economizing. She used to have two carers, and she had to let one go and now only has Adele to take care of her.”

“And her husband and her daughter,” I said.

“Laura isn’t always around. She only joined this cruise because she’s paying.”

“Laura is paying for this cruise?”

“Yeah. She has a great job as a software engineer, and she makes a lot of money, and seeing her mother locked away at home she took pity on her and decided to give her this cruise as a treat.”

“Wouldn’t it have been nice for our family to have come out for this cruise, Max?” asked Dooley.

“No, Dooley, it wouldn’t,” I said. “This is Odelia’s honeymoon, and newlyweds don’t like it when they have to spend it with their entire family.”

“Oh,” said Dooley. Then he turned back to Salvatore, and I could see he had plenty more questions burning on his tongue. “So how did your human and her husband meet? Was it very romantic?”

“David was her physical therapist for a short while, and working together must have created a bond, cause soon after he arrived they decided to tie the knot.”

“All those massages must have done the trick,” I said.

“So has your human always been in a wheelchair, Salvatore?”

“Dooley, maybe you should take it easy with the third degree, huh?”

“No, that’s all right,” said Salvatore. “I’m happy to talk about Bertha. It’s not every day that I meet other pets. In fact I rarely meet anyone, so this is a real treat for me.”

I’d never heard a dog refer to his meeting with a pair of cats as a treat, so I raised both eyebrows in surprise.

“So Bertha lost the use of her legs shortly after Laura was born, back when she was still married to her first husband—Laura’s dad. This was shortly before he fell off a boat and was declared dead.”

“He fell off a boat?” I asked.

“Yeah, he was yachting with some friends in the South of France and fell off the boat in the middle of the night.”

“So maybe he swam to shore,” said Dooley. “Or maybe he was picked up by a Russian submarine. Or maybe he hit his head and lost his memory and now he thinks he’s Jason Bourne and he’s killing killers all over the world!”

“I doubt it,” said Salvatore. “Most probable explanation is that he was drunk and fell in and drowned.”

“What a story,” said Dooley, eyes wide with excitement. This was the stuff of soaps, of which he was a big fan.

“Anyway, officially he died. And Laura is too young to remember. She was only a baby when he disappeared.”

“And now she has a new daddy,” said Dooley. “David.”