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Marge and Tex seemed taken aback, but Gran immediately went on the counter-attack.“And what’s all this about you and Dexter having an affair? And don’t try to deny it, missy,” she added, shaking a bony finger in her granddaughter’s face. “Cause I saw it with my own two eyes! And I have proof!”

“All I did was give the guy a hug, cause he just told me his daughter went missing, and he was obviously feeling bad. There is no affair, there never was an affair, and you should know better than to think such things about me, Gran!”

Now it was Gran’s turn to look startled. “You mean… you and Dexter…”

“There is no me and Dexter! I love my husband, and no Dexter will ever come between us!”

“Well spoken,” Chase murmured.

“I knew I should have talked to you about it,” said Marge.

“The pictures looked so convincing, though,” said Tex.

“What pictures?” asked Odelia. And when her mom showed her the infamous pictures on her phone, she said, “You thought this was me having an affair? You’re all nuts!”

“From a certain angle it looks as if you’re kissing the guy,” said Gran stubbornly.

“No, it doesn’t. And besides, Max and Dooley were there. Didn’t they tell you nothing was going on?”

“Yeah, they did,” Gran confessed sheepishly. “I just figured they hadn’t been looking. Either that or they were trying to protect you.”

“God, what a mess,” said Odelia, throwing up her arms.

“Is it true that you broke into Dexter’s place?” asked Chase, a glint of amusement in his eye, which he tried hard to hide by employing his gruffest voice.

“Yeah, we did,” said Gran. “Me and Scarlett broke in while Marge and Tex were distracting the guy. But we didn’t find anything. Except he’s got underwear with bitcoins printed on it. Which is just weird for a grown man, wouldn’t you say?”

“It’s hardly a crime,” said Marge.

She was eying her daughter with a touch of anxiousness.“I’m sorry, honey,” she said now. “I really thought something was going on between you and this billionaire. And the thought just made me sick.”

“Yeah, we all love Chase, and we think he’s the best thing that ever happened to you—and this family,” Tex added.

“Gee, Tex,” said Chase, “that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“Well, it’s true,” said Tex fervently. “We love you, buddy.”

“Yeah, we really do,” said Marge.

Chase looked touched, and even Odelia’s expression lost that edge.

“That’s still no reason to harass perfectly innocent people,” she said, but I could tell that her anger had expended itself, and she was ready to forgive and forget.

“I’m sorry,” said Gran ruefully. “I overreacted. But I did it with the best intentions.”

“I know you did, Gran,” said Odelia, and for the next five minutes there was a lot of hugging and kissing and, in the case of Tex and Chase, backslapping.

In other words: time to get out of there!

And so Dooley and I quickly fled through the pet flap and into the backyard. When humans start getting sentimental, cats flee. It’s one of those facts of life.

And that’s when I caught a whiff of the same smell I’d experienced in Andrew Dexter’s backyard. And I knew I’d solved my second mystery of the night. And when I caught sight of a particular bottle, there was no doubt in my mind I knew what had attracted this army of snails into our lovely backyards.

CHAPTER 37

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Once again we’d entered the woods, for what I sincerely hoped would be the last time in quite a while. Some cats may love the woods—like our friend Clarice—and manage to survive out there, and even thrive, but I’m not such a cat. Give me my comfy couch and my bowl of kibble and my humans any time. Okay,so call me spoiled, but that’s how I roll.

We’d arrived at the same clearing where not-Cyril Wellbeloved had almost put us in his pot the day before, but this time we’d come with a small but impressive contingent of humans, and so there would be no capturing us now.

Odelia was there, of course, and Chase, but also Uncle Alec, who wanted to find out firsthand what was going on out there.

Chase knocked on the door, and when no answer came, bellowed,“Police—open up!”

The door was reluctantly opened to a crack, and when not-Cyril caught sight of the four cats seated at our humans’ feet, he said plaintively, “I wasn’t really going to eat them. And besides, how was I supposed to know they belonged to someone?”

“We’re not here about the cats,” Chase announced, producing his badge, as did Uncle Alec, and even Odelia. The only ones who didn’t have a badge to show were yours truly and friends. But then cats don’t have pockets, so that hampers our badge-carrying capacity to some extent.

“What’s your name, sir?” asked Chase now.

“What’s it to you?” the guy riposted.

“We can either do this down at the station or right now. What’s your name?”

The guy gave Chase a look of defiance, but finally muttered something under his breath.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that,” said Chase.

“Dexter,” the guy repeated quietly. “Edward Dexter.”

Odelia glanced down at me, and I gave her a knowing look.