We had joined our usual lineup at cat choir, but while the other cats, and Dex Dexter in particular, were singing their hearts out, my own heart wasn’t really in it, and I was merely going through the motions.
“Dooley, stop blabbing!” Shanille shouted. “And you, Max, start showing you care! And where the hell is Harriet—my star soprano!”
“She’s chasing slugs and snails with Brutus!” said Dooley.
But Shanille, who hates interruptions, shushed him into silence, and bellowed,“From the top! And this time, try to pretend you care, you two!”
And so the rehearsals went on.
It took me a while to work it out, but I think I finally managed halfway through a haunting rendition of an Adele song. It was around the same time that a shoe hit me in the rear and I toppled from my perch on top of the slide. Luckily I landed on all fours, and I don’t know if it was the shoe or the soothing effect of the song, but a lightbulb seemed to go off in my head, and the word ‘Eureka’ was trembling on my lips as I finally saw the light. Or at least part of it.
I’d landed right in front of a snail, as it happened. Possibly one of the specimens that had infested our backyard earlier. It gave me its typical supercilious look that a lot of these snails seem to share, and turned away from me while making a sort of scoffing noise, before slithering back into the undergrowth whence it came.
Fr?d?rique, who’d let rip an anguished cry as I was struck by said shoe, was gratified to see I was all right, and gave me a beaming smile. I’d already talked to her, and she’d told me that her human had displayed no suspicious behavior at all, unfortunately, but that she was hoping he still might at some point.
That evening, as soon as we arrived home, I told Odelia about my bright idea, and I could tell that it resonated with her as well, unlikely as it might sound.
And since I was going well, I decided to tell her about Gran and Marge and Tex’s visit to Andrew Dexter, which caused her no small degree of surprise.
“They did what?!” she cried.
Chase, who’d been checking something on his phone, looked up at her outburst.
“The snails again?” he asked. He glanced over in the direction of the backyard. “They’re back, aren’t they?”
“It’s not the snails,” said Odelia, looking a little irate, I have to say. “It’s my family. They’ve collectively lost their mind.”
“It had to happen sometime, babe,” said Chase consolingly. “They’re old, you know, and old people sometimes get all doddery and weird.”
“They’re not that old,” said Odelia. She gritted her teeth. “Wait till they get back.”
“Okay, you got me. What happened?” asked Chase, his curiosity piqued.
“Gran saw me hug Edward Dexter—though now it looks like it wasn’t Edward but his twin brother Andrew—and now she thinks I’m having an affair with the guy. And to make sure he breaks it off, she went over to his house to look for something she can hold over him.”
Much to his credit, Chase actually laughed. But when Odelia shot him a furious look, he quickly stopped.
“It’s funny!” he argued. “And besides, it shows how much they care.”
“It shows how nuts they are,” Odelia grumbled.
“Nuts, but in a good way.”
“I just hope Andrew doesn’t catch them in the act and files a complaint.”
“Yeah, that wouldn’t be good,” said Chase, sobering. “They won’t get caught. Your gran is getting pretty good at this kind of stuff.”
“Laugh all you want, but it’s not funny.”
“It’s a little funny, you have to admit.”
But she shook her head stubbornly, having folded her arms across her chest.“So not funny,” she insisted.
“Okay, so what’s all this about Edward Dexter not being Edward Dexter?” said Chase, wisely changing the subject.
Odelia perked up.“Well, turns out Edward is actually his twin brother Andrew, and Addie isn’t his daughter but his niece, and according to Andrew’s cat Dex, who is actually Edward’s cat, Addie isn’t missing but is still on her road trip.”
“Could be that Andrew didn’t tell his cat what’s going on.”
“Yeah, that’s possible. Not all people talk to their cats, I guess.”
“No, they sure don’t,” said Chase with a grin.
“Oh, and Max has a theory.”
“Of course he has.”
“If I tell you, will you at least try to back me up when I tell off my family?”
“You know I will, babe.”
“Don’t act as if it’s one big joke. This is serious.”
“Absolutely. I’ll back you up one hundred percent. They’ve gone too far this time.”
“Which is exactly what I intend to tell them,” she said.
It took a while for the trio to return home, having first dropped off Scarlett.
But when they came in, they looked as unhappy as any three unsuccessful conspirators could look. Looks like Gran hadn’t managed to crack that safe after all.
“So what’s all this I hear about you breaking into Mr. Dexter’s place?” asked Odelia.