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“Humans are strange, aren’t they, Max?” said Dooley. “To live like this, just to be near their dad.”

“It’s a growing trend,” I said. “Tiny houses and back to nature and all that. Perhaps more people will come and live out here, and follow Edward’s example. Life for humans does get pretty stressful sometimes.”

“I’d never be able to live out here,” Brutus confessed. “I hate confined spaces.”

And so we said our goodbyes to Addie and Ted, who promised they’d get in touch with her uncle soon.

“I really thought Addie was buried in our backyard,” said Brutus as we resurfaced and breathed in that wonderful forest air once more.

“Why?” asked Harriet.

“Well, the snails,” he said. “They are attracted to dead and rotting stuff, and so I thought Addie must be out there.”

“It wasn’t dead and rotting stuff the snails were attracted to,” I said.

“Oh?” said Brutus. “Then what?”

I smiled.“Blue moon!”

CHAPTER 38

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The sun was giving of its best and so was Tex. Even his backyard was getting back on its feet, and here and there fresh green was already poking its head, indicating that pretty soon everything would be as verdant and colorful as before.

Tex had been manning the grill, and supplying us all with sustenance, and for the occasion actual chicken was on the menu, and it tasted like chicken, too!

“What’s that bottle of beer doing on the table, Max?” asked Dooley.

“It’s the beer I told you about,” I said. “Don’t you remember? Blue Moon beer?”

“Oh, that’s right. The beer that snails like so much.”

“They don’t like it, they love it,” I said. “Snails can smell beer from up to two hundred yards away.”

“I never knew snails liked beer,” said Harriet. “It makes me like them even less, to be honest.”

“It’s not the beer itself they like, but the yeast it contains. Snails love yeast.”

“You shouldn’t have done it is all I’m saying,” said Alec for the umpteenth time.

“And I keep telling you I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do,” said Gran. “Tex was complaining that his begonias were wilting, and Marge kept saying how terrible her forsythias looked this year, and so I decided to give them a helping hand.”

“By pouring beer on them,” said Alec, shaking his head.

“It sounded like a good idea!”

“Where have I heard that before?” said Scarlett with a slight grin, earning herself a light slap on the arm from her friend.

“Dick Bernstein said it made his plants grow twice as fast. He swears by Blue Moon beer. Says it’s the best fertilizer known to man. And who am I to question the guy? You should see his bush. It’s luxuriant, big… Everything a bush should be.”

“Please stop talking about Dick’s bush,” said Marge with a look of distaste. “I’m eating.”

“I think he was pulling your leg,” said Odelia. “Like that time he told Dad that mayonnaise can cure hair loss and he smeared the stuff all over his head. Remember?”

Smiling faces told us that everyone remembered, and Tex, whose hair loss had improved, said,“I think it worked.”

“It wasn’t the mayonnaise that did the trick, honey,” said Marge. “But that special shampoo Scarlett got you.”

“Chinese medicine,” said Scarlett. “You can’t go wrong with Chinese medicine.”

“I don’t like Chinese medicine,” said Uncle Alec. “Charlene once sent me to an acupuncturist. He stuck me full of needles.”

“That’s what an acupuncturist does, sweetie,” said Charlene.

“Well, I didn’t like it. It hurt.”

“Oh, poor baby,” said Charlene with a grin at Marge. “So when are we going to start looking at RVs?”

“Next week.”

“You said that last week.”

“So what happened with the snails?” asked Dooley. “I still don’t get it.”

“Gran asked Dick Bernstein how he managed to grow his bushes so luxuriant,” I explained, “and Dick told her that he sprayed Blue Moon beer on them. So Gran doused the entire backyard with beer, attracting so many snails they destroyed everything that grew.”

“Which may or may not have been Dick’s plan,” said Harriet. “Since there’s a garden competition coming up, and Gran had told Dick she was thinking of entering our backyard for the competition.”

“So he sabotaged her. Bad man,” said Brutus as he tucked into a piece of chicken.

“What I don’t understand,” said Marge, “is how Odelia’s backyard, and also Ted and Marcie’s, attracted all of those snails.”

Gran gave her a sheepish look.“I may have repeated the same procedure on Odelia’s backyard, and on Ted and Marcie’s, when they weren’t looking.” When howls of disapproval met her words, she cried, “I just wanted to help!”

“Well, next time, don’t,” Uncle Alec grunted.

“At least the snails are gone now,” said Harriet. “I hate those slithery, slimy creatures.”

“They say it’s very good for the skin, though,” said Brutus. “And the fur.”

This had Harriet looking up with interest.“You don’t say.”

“Yes, it’s true. It’s got antioxidant properties, stimulates collagen production and enhances wound healing. I saw it on the internet. And we all know that everything you see on the internet is true.”

Oh, boy.

“So is Addie home again?” asked Marge.

“Yeah, she is,” said Odelia.