Voices in a Haunted Room

She, too, often thought of poor Aunt Sophie and Armand, and wondered what had become of them. The subject would now and then be raised at the table, and Dickon would wax fierce about it, and there were often arguments between him and Chariot in which Louis Charles joined. Chariot was a problem. He was becoming a man and had to decide what he was to do with his life. Dickon was for sending him to the other estate at Clavering-and Louis Charles with him. That, Dickon thought, would get them both out of the way. But Chariot declared that he did not intend to manage an English country estate. He had been brought up in the belief that he was to have charge of Aubigne.

“The principle of management is the same,” Dickon reminded him.

“Man cher Monsieur.” Chariot often introduced French phrases into his conversation, particularly when he was talking to Dickon. “There is much difference between a great French castle and a little English country estate.”

“Indeed yes,” said Dickon. “One is a ruin ... overrun by rabble; the other is in perfect working order.”

My mother, as she always did, interposed between her husband and her son. It was only because he knew that these altercations distressed her that Dickon did not carry on the battle.

“Seventeen,” she went on now. “We must have a real celebration. Shall we have a dance and invite the neighbours, or would you like just a dinner party with a few selected friends? Then we might arrange for a ‘ trip to London. We could go to the theatre and do some shopping ...”

I said certainly that appealed to me more than the dance and the neighbours.

Then she was serious. “Claudine, have you ever thought about ... marriage?”

“I suppose most people give it a thought now and then.”

”I mean seriously.”

“How can one unless one is asked?”

She frowned. “There are two, I believe, who would be ready to ask you,” she went on. “In fact I think they are waiting for the all-important birthday. You know who I mean, and I know you are fond of both of them. Dickon and I have talked of it.

It is something we should be very happy about. There is something unusual about twins.

We had twins in the family some years ago-Bersaba and Angelet-and do you know, eventually they each married the same man ... Angelet first, and after her death, Bersaba married him. That was before the family were at Eversleigh. It was Bersaba’s daughter Arabella who married into the Eversleigh family-that was at the time of the Civil War and the Restoration. So you see it goes back a long way. But why am I telling you this? Oh ... twins. Although they are so different-as Bersaba and Angelet were by all accounts-they both fell in love with the same man. I think it is rather like David and Jonathan.”

“You mean they are both in love ... with me?”

“I’m sure of it, and so is Dickon. You are attractive, you know, Claudine.”

“Oh, I am not beautiful like you, Maman.”

“You are very attractive, and it is obvious that you will soon be called on to make a choice. Claudine, tell me, which is it to be?”

“Isn’t it rather unseemly to choose between two men when one has not had a proposal from either?”

“It is only for my ears, Claudine.”

“Dear Maman, I hadn’t thought ...”

“But you have thought of them.”

“Well-in a way ...”

“David loves you steadily ... wholeheartedly. He would be a very good husband, Claudine.”

“You mean that if I were asked by both of them you would prefer me to take David?”

“I would accept your choice. It is your decision, dearest child. They are so different.

It is a situation fraught with difficulties, for whichever one you choose, the other will still be there. It worries me quite a lot, Claudine. Dickon laughs at me. He has his own ideas of these matters and I don’t always agree with him.” She smiled reminiscently. “In fact,” she went on, “I hardly ever agree with him.” She made disagreement sound like the ideal state. “I am concerned though. I wish it could have been different. But, Claudine ... I am so selfish. I don’t want you to go away.”

I put my arms round her and held her close to me.

“There was always something rather special between us, wasn’t there?” she said. “You came when I was a little disillusioned with marriage. Oh, I loved your father and we had some wonderful times together, but he was never faithful to me. To him that was the natural way of life. I suppose I had been brought up differently. My mother was so English. You were such a comfort to me, my little Claudine. I want you to make the right choice. You are so young. Talk to me. Tell me. Let me share your thoughts.”

I was bewildered. Certainly I hadn’t thought of having to make a choice. But I could see what she meant: the growing seriousness of David and his obvious delight in my company against the impatient gestures of Jonathan. Yes, I could see that the time of indecision was coming to an end.

I was glad my mother had prepared me for this.