Three Little Words

“Neither can I! Why do you think I didn’t sleep with any of those girls last summer?”

“I knew you were going to throw them in my face!”

“Sorry, you’re right. But still… I mean it, I don’t want to sleep with just anyone. I want to sleep with you.”

“Sure! Until you get tired of me and find someone else.”

“Hold on, is that what this is about?”

“Well, isn’t it? You just want to have fun and add another notch on your bedpost.”

I blinked in surprise and then shook my head. “You are completely irrational when you’re scared.”

“I am not!”

“Are too. Now come here.” I scooted my chair back and tugged her wrist

until she moved to my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and ducked to look her in the eye. “Christine Marie Carmichael, I want you, not some notch on a bedpost. I’m scared too. I’ve never done this before either.”

“You haven’t?”

“No. I’ve had serious girlfriends, but we’ve never lived together. So this is new for me too. I don’t know if we’ll make it work, but I wanna try. I never wanted to with Gina or Kendall or even Leah. But I do with you. I think you might be The One, and this is the next step.”

“You really mean that?”

“Of course.”

“You aren’t just saying it to get me to go all the way?”

I chuckled. “No. Why? Are you thinking about it?”

“Of course I am! It’s all I seem to think about these days. I want to, but…” She looked down. “I’m still not ready.”

“Sleeping together doesn’t mean we have to go all the way. We didn’t in Tahoe.”

“But that was different. That was just on vacation. This is… for real.”

“It is for real,” I said solemnly. “I think I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, and I’d like to know for sure. This is how we find out. Part of it, at least.”

“The other part is…” She made a vague gesture.

“Mmm hmm, making love.”

She gulped.

“Sex.” I grinned and let that sink in before I added, “Fucking.”

“I knew you were going to say that.”

“Yep. Sorry. I can’t help it.”

“You can say that again.”

“I can’t help it. It’s all I think about sometimes.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she lied.

“I’m talking about sliding my penis into your vagina.”

“Oh my gosh!”

“Shoving my dick in your pussy.”

“Oh, boy, here we go.”

“Ramming my cock deep, deep inside you.”

“I was afraid you were gonna say that.”

“Right now, though, I’d be happy with a blowjob. Or two.”

“Oh, you would, would you?”

“Mmm hmm. But first we need to move your things into my room. Some of ’em, at least.”

“You’re serious?”

“Well, I don’t think all your stuff will fit.”

“That isn’t what I’m talking about and you know it!”

“Yeah, I know. And I get it, you’re scared. In some ways you’re still a good Catholic girl. But you’re a normal girl in all the ways that count. Maybe a little kinkier than most, but I kinda like that.”

“I bet you do, Mr. Pervert! Sorry, sorry! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. I know you hate that word. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know you don’t mean it in a bad way.”

“I don’t. I… kinda like it.” She looked down and swallowed hard. “I’ve always thought I’m a pervert, especially—”

“You aren’t.”

“No, hear me out. I’ve always thought I’m a pervert, especially with some of the things I like. Sex things. Like, the biting and spanking and… um… the other things. So when I say you’re a pervert, I guess I really mean you’re like me.”

“For real?”

“Yeah. I’ve always known I was different. But you’re different too.

That’s why I tell you stuff. And why… I’ll move in with you.” She folded her hands in her lap and stared at them. “I still think it’s ‘living in sin,’ but… I can’t help myself. I want you so much it hurts sometimes.”

“I know what you mean. The last few days—”

“Have been miserable. We’ve been so busy that I thought I wouldn’t notice, but—”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you. At night. In the morning. During class. In the—”

“Shower.” She grinned. “Yeah, me too. And in bed. In my studio…”

My eyebrows shot up.

“Yesterday,” she said with a nod. “You were at judo. Wren and I were supposed to be working, but she had to meet with her thesis advisor. No one was home, so I just…” She fluttered her fingers.

“For real? You just… took care of things?”

“I did! I didn’t even take my clothes off or anything. I just unbuttoned my jeans and… did it!” She blushed. “Gosh, it feels so weird telling you that. I mean, you talk about it all the time, but I’m supposed to be a proper young

lady.”

“‘Supposed to be’ is the key phrase there.”

“Well, I know that, and you know that, but I have a reputation. I don’t want people to think I’m some kind of pervert or something.”

“Present company excluded, of course.”

“Of course.” She grinned but then turned serious. “I do love you. And I want to move in with you. I want to do everything with you. But I still want to take baby steps. Except when I don’t.”

“No contradictions there,” I said dryly.

“I’m a woman. It’s my prerogative. Now, you mentioned something about moving in? And… extra closet space?”

I laughed. “You only want the extra space, don’t you?”

“Well, I really want you, my sexy boyfriend, but if you have extra space…”

“I do.”