The Song of the Siren

“Why?” Everything one said to Clarissa at this stage produced a why, when or where.

I said: “They are for during the journey, not before it starts.”

“Not for when you’re hungry then.”

”Yes, of course when you’re hungry.”

“I’m hungry now.”

Her attention was diverted by the horses being harnessed and she forgot about the hamper.

Then we were settled in, and after waving farewell to Benjie, Clarissa’s nurse, nursery maid and some of the other servants who had come to see us off, we were rattling along the road.

Our road took us along by the coast and we passed that house where I stayed with Hessenfield and his conspirators. It was inhabited and looked just like an ordinary house.

Harriet glanced at me as we passed it but I pretended not to be aware of it and, putting an arm round Clarissa, I pointed out the gulls to her who were wheeling round and round diving down to the sea every now and then in search of food.

At last we came to the Black Boar-that inn of many memories and there we were greeted effusively by the landlord, who remembered us, and now that we came with our coach we were treated with very special respect.

It was a strange feeling to be in that inn again. I found I was reliving every minute of that other visit. I really believed that Hessenfield had sent Beau right back into the recesses of my mind only to be brought out very rarely when something reminded me of him. The climax of my experience with Matt Pilkington had been so like a nightmare that I did not want to think of it anymore.

I had to, though, because I would soon come face to face with Damaris.

The landlord apologised again for once long ago having to put me into a room which was so unworthy of me.

“The gentleman were back here not so long ago, my lady.”

“The gentleman?” I said.

“Yes, one of they who took the whole floor just before you arrived on that day. Do you remember?”

“Oh ... he came back did he?”

“You know the one, my lady, that’s if you remember. The tall one ... the leader of them all, you might say.”

I felt a wave of excitement sweep over me. “He was back?” I repeated.

“Yes... he remembered you, my lady. Asked if you’d been this way since. I told him I hadn’t had a sight of you ... bar once. There was the time you and my lady came and stayed here, you remember, with the gentlemen. I said: ‘Only once, sir, and I ain’t seen nothing of her since.’”

“How long ago was it?” I asked.

“Matter of weeks ... no more.”

I changed the subject by saying we should like the partridge pie for our supper.

Harriet and I shared the room in which the General had rested. Clarissa slept in a little pallet beside the bed; but in the middle of the night I was awakened by her creeping in beside me. I had been dreaming of her father.

I held her tightly. I had never thought I could feel the disinterested love I felt for this child.

I was not sorry to leave the Black Boar, and early the next morning we set out on our journey. There is something very exciting about the clop-clop of horses hooves on the road and exhilarating in the early morning air. Clarissa and I watched through the window exclaiming to each other when we saw something which interested us.

She called out for me to look at the lovely butterflies and directed my attention to the beautiful red admiral she had discovered. I wished that I knew the countryside as Damaris did, for I should have loved to instruct Clarissa.

I was growing more and more apprehensive as we approached the Dower House. The desire kept coming over me to turn back. But of course that was impossible. I had to face my sister sometime. I could not imagine what her reaction would be. Perhaps she would refuse to speak to me. Perhaps she would reproach me bitterly. At least she would be prepared for our meeting-as I was.

I wondered if she had told of what she had seen to my mother perhaps.

I should have to wait and see.

When we arrived at the Dower House they had already heard the sound of the carriage wheels, and there, waiting to greet us, were my mother and Leigh.

I opened the door and I was in her arms. She was always emotional when we met.

”Dearest Carlotta. It is so wonderful to see you.” There were tears in her eyes and she smiled brightly.

“Hello, Priscilla,” said Harriet, “and here is your granddaughter. Clarissa, come and kiss your grandmother.”

My mother knelt while Clarissa put her arms about her neck; she gave her a hearty kiss and my mother’s eyes beamed with happiness to look at her.

“We had Dutch gingerbread in the hamper,” said Clarissa as though that was a most important piece of news.

“Did you indeed?” said my mother.

“Yes, and cake with fruit in it and cheese... and mutton and ... and ...”

“Carlotta, you are as lovely as ever,” said Leigh. “You too, Harriet.”

“Well, what do you think of our coach?” asked Harriet. “It has caused a lot of interest on the road so spare a thought for it, please.”