The Seventh Function of Language

In truth, they make a fairly credible couple: the old, beefy, hairy-chested guy, looking around inquisitively, and the skinny, young, clean-shaven one, who glances at his surroundings surreptitiously. Simon Herzog, looking like a frightened anthropologist, excites some lustful looks—the men who pass him stare for a long time, and circle back toward him—but Bayard gets a fair amount of attention too. Two or three young men shoot him flirtatious glances, and a fat man stares from a distance, fist balled around his penis: apparently the Lino Ventura look has its fans here. If Bayard is angry that this gaggle of queers can take him for one of them, he is professional enough to conceal it, merely adopting a faintly hostile expression intended to discourage approaches.

The complex is divided into different spaces: the sauna itself, a Turkish bath, a swimming pool, back rooms in various configurations. The fauna is quite varied too: all ages, all sizes, all degrees of corpulence are here. But in terms of what the superintendent and his assistant are searching for, there is a problem: half of the men here are wearing an earring, and for the under-30s the figure reaches almost 100 percent, nearly all of whom are North Africans. Unfortunately, the description of the man’s hair is not much more useful: young men with bangs over their eyes are undetectable in here because it’s a natural reflex to slick back wet hair.

And so to the final clue: the southern accent. But that requires, at some point, verbal contact.

In the corner of the sauna, on a tiled bench, two youths are kissing and wanking each other off. Bayard leans over them discreetly to check whether either is wearing an earring. They both are. But if they were gigolos, would they really be wasting their time on each other? It’s possible. Bayard has never worked for the vice squad and is no specialist when it comes to this kind of behavior. He takes Simon on a tour of the premises. It’s difficult to see much: the steam forms a thick fog, and some men are hidden away in back rooms where they can be observed only through barred windows. They pass an apparently half-witted Arab who tries to touch everyone’s dicks, two Japanese men, two guys with mustaches and greasy hair, fat tattooed men, lascivious old men, velvet-eyed young men. The sauna’s clients wear their towels around their waists or over their shoulders; everyone in the pool is naked; some have hard-ons, others don’t. Here, too, all sizes and shapes are on display. Bayard tries to spot earring wearers and, when he’s found four or five, he points one out to Simon and orders him to go and talk to the man.

Simon Herzog knows perfectly well that it would make more sense for Bayard to approach the gigolo rather than him but, seeing the cop’s blank face, he realizes it would be pointless to argue. Awkwardly, he walks over to the gigolo and says good evening. His voice quavers. The gigolo smiles but does not reply. Outside his classroom, Simon Herzog is naturally shy, and he has never been much of a ladies’ man (or a man’s man, for that matter). He manages to make a few banal comments that immediately sound inappropriate or merely ridiculous. Without a word, the gigolo takes his hand and leads him toward the back rooms. All strength gone, Simon follows him. He knows he has to react quickly. In a toneless voice, he asks: “What’s your name?” The man replies: “Patrick.” No o or eu to help him detect a southern accent, and no use of the telltale word con. Simon follows him into a little cell where the young man grabs his hips and kneels down in front of him. In the hope of making him pronounce a full sentence, Simon stammers: “Wouldn’t you prefer it if I went first?” The gigolo says no and his hand moves under Simon’s towel. Simon shivers. The towel falls. With surprise, Simon notices that his cock, touched by the young man’s fingers, is not completely flaccid. So he decides to go for broke: “Hang on! You know what I’d like to do?” “What?” the other asks. Still not enough syllables to detect his accent. “I’d like to shit on you!” The gigolo looks surprised. “Can I?” And finally Patrick replies, without even a hint of a southern accent: “All right, but it’ll be more expensive!” Simon Herzog picks up his towel and rushes out, calling: “Never mind! Another time?” If he has to do the same with the dozen potential gigolos patrolling the club, this could be a very long night. He passes the half-witted Arab again, who tries to touch his dick, and the two men with mustaches, the two Japanese men, the fat tattooed men, the velvet-eyed youths, and rejoins Bayard just as a loud, nasal, professorial voice intones: “A functionary of the powers that be showing off his repressive muscles in the service of biopower? What could be more normal?”