The Ranch

“Stop worrying,” she said, and they kissed again, but he couldn't help it. He wanted her so badly. “I love you,” she said, and meant it to the depths of her soul. She barely knew him, and yet she knew she could spend the rest of her life with him, and never regret it for a moment. He was completely different from Bill, and yet she knew that she could have lived a lifetime with either of them and been perfectly happy. But her time with Bill had come and gone. And her time with Hartley was just beginning.

Chapter 18

On the way to the rodeo, they were all in high spirits again. Zoe had decided not to come, she said she felt up to it, and she looked fine, but she wanted to marshal her strength, and she thought the rodeo would be too taxing. She had stayed home with Hartley's latest book, which he'd given her, and she wanted to call Sam, and talk to the baby.

Tanya and Mary Stuart were going to the rodeo, and Hartley had come with them. He was wearing a new cowboy hat he'd bought in town that afternoon, and he had bought one for Mary Stuart. Tanya said they looked like fancy Texas ranchers. The hats had been steamed and shaped for them, the crown had been raised on hers, the brims trimmed on both of them. They were the real thing, and they made a handsome couple. Funnily enough, they had both worn navy blue, it was something Hartley said couples sometimes did unconsciously when they were particularly in tune with each other. But it warmed Tanya's heart to see them.

“You two are so cute,” she said, sitting on the couch on her bus, swinging one leg over the other. She was anxious to see Gordon. Hartley was aware of that situation too, but he was extremely discreet, and Tanya knew he would keep their secret. But like Gordon, he was worried about her safety.

“Shouldn't you have security with you?” he asked sensibly, and Mary Stuart nodded. She thought the rodeo was dangerous for her too. But Tanya insisted that it wasn't.

“I would in L.A. normally, at something like this, but the people are so decent here. They're not going to hurt me. The worst they're going to do is ask me to sign a bunch of autographs and that's not so bad. It seems so showy to take a bunch of security guys with me to a small town rodeo. It looks so Hollywood, I'd be embarrassed to do it.”

“But maybe it's smarter,” he persisted. “At least be careful,” he warned, and she smiled at him. She loved the fact that he was so good to Mary Stuart. She had never really liked Bill Walker. She always thought he was too hard on Mary Stuart, and expected so much from her. In Tanya's opinion, he had completely taken her for granted. He had the perfect house, the perfect wife, the perfect children, and he expected it that way. She wondered how much he'd ever really appreciated it, how often he'd thanked her, if ever. But she was sure that he was going to be stunned now when Mary Stuart told him it was over. Even his faxes to her made Tanya mad. They were so cold and so aloof, and so unfriendly. Hartley was entirely opposite from Bill, he was warm and kind and solicitous, and concerned about everyone around him. She really thought he was perfect for Mary Stuart, and they looked fabulous together. They even looked a little bit alike, except that his hair was gray and he was ten years older. And he made Tanya promise that she'd be careful that night, and ask for help from the police if she had the smallest problem.

“Just stay close to us, and don't go wandering off,” Mary Stuart warned, sounding as though she were talking to Alyssa.

“Yes, Mom,” Tanya teased, but she was so excited she could hardly sit down when they got there. The bus pulled into the parking lot, bumping over ruts, and narrowly avoiding kids on horses.

But as soon as Tanya got off the bus, they were waiting for her, not just fans, but the same man and the officials who had approached her on Wednesday. They wanted her to sing the anthem just one more time, just the way she had, just the way God meant it to be sung, they said. They were so hokey that somehow they touched her. She signed half a dozen autographs while talking to them, and Hartley and Mary Stuart were looking concerned, but they both knew that this was what her life was. And she hated to let her fans down. In the end, she agreed to sing again. They had the same palomino for her, and this time she asked if she could sing another song either before or after. They suggested she do it right after the anthem, and she wanted to sing “God Bless America.” It was what the rodeo always made her think of.

“What about one of your own songs, Miss Thomas?” the grand marshal asked hopefully, but she said she wouldn't. She didn't want to sing her stuff with a high school band, without a rehearsal, and besides, this wasn't the place for it. It was “God Bless America” or nothing, and they took it.