The Ranch

“I don't know, Hartley. I'm not sure. I think I know. I believe it's all over for me. I suppose there are no guarantees until I see him. I think I'll be sure then.”

“Why are you waiting until September for that?” It was a question she had been asking herself lately too. Originally, she had thought she needed time, and she was glad she'd have the summer in which to think. But ever since she'd been here, she realized that she was ready to tackle it now. It had even occurred to her that she might fly to London to talk to Bill, and she said as much to Hartley.

“I think that's a good idea,” he said gently, “if you feel ready for it. I don't want to push you.” They had known each other for five days, and it had been an extraordinary experience for both of them, but it was possible that it was all a dream, an illusion, or maybe it was real and something very special. Only time would tell. But first, she had to deal with her husband. Neither of them wanted to do anything confusing before she did that. And as tempting as it was to just fall into bed with each other, she knew they wouldn't.

“I'm going to Los Angeles with Tanya when I leave here. I was going to stay a week, but she's busy anyway.” She was thinking out loud and sharing it with him. “I think I'll stay for a few days, and then fly to London. I came here to think, and to decide what I wanted. And I knew the moment I came here. I think I knew before that.” She had known when she left her apartment in New York that she would never live there the same way again. She had been saying good-bye to her old life when she left it, and she knew that, and she said as much to Hartley.

“There's something about these mountains that gives you the answers to many things. I missed coming here after Meg died.” He smiled at Mary Stuart then and took her hand in his. “It would be amazing if I found my new life here, if I came here to find you,” and then he looked at her sadly, “but even if nothing comes of this, if you go back to him, I want you to know how happy you've made me. You've shown me that I'm not as alone as I think I am, that there is someone out there who can make me fall in love again. You're a beautiful gift I never expected, you're a vision of what life can be when two people love each other and are happy.” He was exactly the same for her. He was living proof that there was someone in the world who cared about her, that she could talk to easily, and who could love her. And she didn't want to give that up now. He wasn't asking her to, but he wanted her to be sure of what she wanted to do about her husband before moving toward him. Mary Stuart felt certain she had made her mind up.

“I don't think seeing him is going to change anything,” she said gently, holding Hartley's hand in her own and kissing it. He was so dear to her, she had grown so fond of him in such a short time, and they felt incredibly protective about each other. But they also knew that she needed to prove to herself what she still felt for Bill and what she didn't. And Hartley didn't want to rush her, but she insisted he wasn't.

“It was so strange when he called me tonight. It was like talking to a total stranger. I didn't even recognize him at first, nor him me, and I couldn't figure out why he was calling. It's sad to feel so far away from someone you once loved. I never thought it would happen to us.”

“You weathered one of life's cruelest blows,” he said sympathetically. “Most marriages don't survive it. The statistics are staggering. I think it's something like ninety-seven percent of people who lose children get divorced. You have to be awfully strong to withstand that,” he said kindly.

“And I guess we weren't.”