The Ranch

“You two should enter the contest at the state fair,” she said with a broad smile. “It sure is pretty when it's done right.”

“I'm afraid I'm pretty rusty,” Tanya said modestly. But she and Bobby Joe had entered all those contests and won them.

“Is everything all right?” Charlotte asked. She had been very concerned about Zoe. John Kroner hadn't told her what it was, but he said her condition was serious, and it concerned her. “Dr. Phillips is looking a little brighter.” But she was still pale, and in spite of her animated look, she seemed very fragile.

“She's feeling a lot better tonight,” Tanya said, looking relieved but still somewhat worried. When she took a little distance from her, she noticed again how pale and thin Zoe was. It was hard not to, but when you were talking to her, she was so alive and so intense that you forgot it.

“I see you're going back to the rodeo tomorrow,” Charlotte said with a smile. Tanya and the others had just ordered tickets before they went to dinner.

“Are you going to sing again tomorrow night? You were the talk of the town after Wednesday.”

“I'd like to,” Tanya smiled generously, tossing her long blond hair over her shoulder, and she saw out of the corner of her eye that Gordon was frowning. “Well see if they ask me, and how the crowd looks.” If she saw a lot of drunks, or it looked rowdier than it had on Wednesday night, then she wouldn't.

“Oh, they'll ask you. It was the high point of the year in Jackson Hole. Maybe the decade. You were nice to do it.” She smiled and then moved on to the other guests, and Gordon was still frowning.

“I don't want you to do that,” he whispered. “I don't like the way people get when you're close like that. If you're up on a stage, with security, they can't hurt you.”

“Yes, they can,” she said honestly, and she knew they might someday. She had worn a bullet-proof vest at a concert in the Philippines once and swore she'd never do that again. She had been shaking from head to foot and ready to throw up through the entire concert. “That's why I rode the horse the other night,” she said matter-of-factly. “I knew I could get the hell out of Dodge if I had to.”

“I don't like you taking chances,” he said, not wanting to be overbearing with her, but genuinely worried.

“I don't like you riding bulls and broncos.” She looked him straight in the eye while she said it. She knew this cowboy life. She came from it. And she knew the price you paid, and its dangers. But she knew her own world too, better than he did.

“Tell you what,” he said honestly, “we ever make a go of it, and I'll give up the bulls and broncs.”

“I'll hold you to it,” she said softly, and then she wanted to be honest with him too, “but I can't give up concerts, Gordon. That's how I make my living.”

“I know that. I wouldn't expect you to. I just don't want you to do some two-bit thing to be nice to them, and get hurt. It's just not worth it. They don't deserve it.”

“I know,” she sighed, looking up at him. It was hard to believe they were having this conversation, negotiating their future, what they would each give up and what they wouldn't. But there was no harm done, if it ever happened. “I just like to sing for the hell of it sometimes, without the promoters and the contracts and the hype and all the bullshit. It's fun to just do it.”

“Then sing for me,” he smiled.

“I'd love that.” There was an old Texas song she would have loved to sing for him. She had sung it as a kid at high school dances, and it had gotten popular since, but she had always thought of it as her song. “I will one day.”

“I'll hold you to that too.” There were a lot of promises floating between them.

They all stood around and talked for a while, and then Mary Stuart and Tanya took Zoe back to the cabin. Gordon had promised to show up later, if he could. He said he would just tap on her bedroom window. She told him which one it was, and then they left, and Hartley walked them back, and then sat outside with Mary Stuart. Tanya and Zoe were inside the cabin chatting.

Mary Stuart told him about the call from Bill before dinner, and he looked at her thoughtfully while she told him,

“He's probably realizing what he's missed, and what he's given up for all these months,” he said, thinking about it, and looking at her. “What are you going to do if he wants to fix it?”

“I can't imagine it,” she said honestly, “but I realized something when I talked to him tonight. I don't want to do that. I can't go back again. We can't undo the last year, or what happened to Todd. I don't think I'll ever forgive him for how he's behaved. That's a nasty thing to say, and it's mean-spirited of me, but to be honest with you, I think he killed it.”

“And if he didn't? If he comes back and tells you how much he loves you and how wrong he was, what then?” He wanted her to think about that before they made a mistake. They were both extremely attracted to each other, but they were being very cautious, and that was just what he wanted. He didn't want to get decimated either.