The pool of St Branok

I said to him: "What do you really think about all this, Uncle Peter?"

"I wish to God it hadn't happened. It's just the worst time for Ben."

"Do you think people believe ..."

"People like to believe the worst. It is more exciting than the best."

"What'll happen?"

"Ben won't get in this time."

"It will be a terrible disappointment to him. He has worked so hard."

"He'll survive. The luckiest thing is that the verdict was what it was. It might have been very unpleasant. We have to be thankful for that."

He kissed me good night.

I went into the house but not to sleep.

Uncle Peter was right. There was no miracle. Ben did not win the seat.

Uncle Peter said: "It was hardly likely that he could."

So there he was ... defeated.

I said to myself: At least he is innocent of Lizzie's death. If he had planned to kill her he would not have done so at such an important time.

I felt relieved at the thought.

Ben came back to London. Grace had now returned to her own home; but she was constantly at one of our houses. She said she would sort out Lizzie's clothes and send some of them to the Mission. She took them there and had a long talk with Frances. She was becoming very interested in the Mission.

I saw Ben now and then.

Uncle Peter said he was disillusioned and was talking of giving up politics. "It will take him some time to live this down," said Uncle Peter. "People don't like this sort of thing to be attached to their Member. They think he should be beyond reproach, not committing the sins of ordinary people."

I said: "Ben has committed no sin."

"No, but his wife died in mysterious circumstances. They'll reckon that, even if he didn't murder her, she took her own life. They'll say, Why was she so bemused as to take an overdose? It must be because she had an unsatisfactory home life. Constituents do not like their Members to have unsatisfactory home lives."

Uncle Peter thought he should face it and not show himself to be in the least put out by failure. Perhaps next election they would give him a constituency up North where the people might be less aware of what happened.

Aunt Amaryllis did not give dinner parties for a while. The family was in mourning. But she did gather us all together though; and when she did, Grace, Morwenna and Justin were often of the party.

"I look upon you, my dears, as members of the family," she told Morwenna and Justin. "I really don't want strangers at such a time."

So I saw Ben often. We talked a little, in snatches and quietly because usually there were others in the room. These conversations normally took place after dinner or just before while we were waiting to go to the table.

I asked him if he felt badly about the election and he said he had expected it would go that way.

"After all your work, Ben!"

"In politics or in life for that matter, everything can change in a week. I knew as soon as it happened that I was sunk."

"You will fight again?"

"I expect so. But it takes a long time for them to forget."

"By the next election perhaps?"

"Then there will be someone to bring it up ... refurbish it ... dress it up as new, I daresay. It will cling, Angelet. I wish I could have done something. It was my fault. I just ignored her. I should have explained. It is too late now."

"Time will pass and it will be better."

"I keep thinking that all the time. Then we can start again ... you and I."

"I couldn't talk about that now, Ben."

"Perhaps not ... but later."

Grace came over to us.

"I hope I am not interrupting," she said brightly.

"Oh no," I told her.

"You seemed in deep conversation."

"No ... we were just talking ... idly ..."

I looked up and saw Justin. He was looking at us very intently. I smiled and he came over; and the conversation turned to generalities.

The next morning to my surprise Justin called. He was carrying a small parcel.

I wondered why he had come so early in the morning. We were in the sitting room—just the two of us.

He said: "I wanted to see you rather specially, Angelet."

"Yes, Justin, is something wrong?"

"No ... not just now."

"You mean something might be? Morwenna?"

"No, not Morwenna. She doesn't know I've come."

"You are being very mysterious, Justin."

"I don't know how to say this or where to begin. It's just a hunch I have. It's just something I feel you ought to know. I never thought to tell you ... or anyone ... but since Gervaise did what he did for me ... at such a time when we were not even friends ... I have felt I owed you something. I've wanted to look after you for his sake. I'm not a very admirable character, as you know, but I really think that changed me. It's because of that ..."

"Justin, this is getting more and more mysterious. Why don't you say it outright?"

"I will. But first I want you to read this. Then ... when you've read it, I'll talk to you."

He put the package into my hands. "What is it?" I asked.