The pool of St Branok

"Did she think that Lizzie would take an overdose deliberately, knowing the effect it would have? Grace said she was sure she would not. She could have been careless. She could have taken a dose and forgotten she had taken it and then ... perhaps sleepily have taken more. She was forgetful. But, they said, she was aware of her inadequacies and worried about them to the extent that they gave her sleepless nights. Grace admitted this was true.

" 'In view of this,' she was asked, 'having made yourself her protector, did you think it wise for her to have the bottle close to her bed?'

"I must say Grace was magnificent. She was so cool. In my opinion it is she who is really responsible for the verdict. She replied that the idea had not occurred to her until this moment when it had been put into her mind. 'It would never have occurred to me that Lizzie would think of taking her own life. In my opinion, knowing her well, it could only be that she took the overdose by mistake.'

"And so the verdict. Accidental death."

The next ordeal was her funeral. She was to be buried in St. Michael's churchyard, where other members of the London branch of the family were laid to rest. It was a short carriage drive from the house, but because of the publicity which had been given to the case, there were many people besides the family to witness the burial.

Poor Lizzie. She was more famous in death than she would have believed possible.

Ben was there, looking unlike himself, serious and very sad. I wondered if he was reproaching himself for marrying her in the first place and then neglecting her and planning divorce.

Grace was elegant in black, attempting, it seemed, to keep herself aloof. The crowd wanted to see her. I think some of them had made up their minds that she was "the other woman" in the case and for her Ben had murdered his wife. They wanted drama and if it was not there they determined to create.

As the coffin was lowered into the grave someone threw a stone at Ben. It hit him in the back. There was a scuffle, someone was hurried away, and the burial continued.

I watched sadly as I listened to the clods falling on the coffin and I threw down a bunch of asters which I had brought.

We walked away from the grave—Uncle Peter on one side of Ben, Aunt Amaryllis on the other. We went back to Ben's grand house. It seemed like an empty shell now. We drank sherry and ate ham sandwiches in sorrowful silence.

Grace came and talked to me. She seemed calm.

"I blame myself," she said. "I should have taken more care of her."

"Blame yourself! Why, Grace, you were wonderful to her. She relied on you."

"And I did not see what she was doing."

Justin came to us.

"It is a relief that this is over," he said looking at Grace.

She nodded.

"You did well," he added.

I thought there was a faint hostility between them and for a fleeting moment it occurred to me that Justin may have believed the story that Grace was too friendly with Ben. Then it passed. It was nonsense. I was imagining this.

"I hope so," said Grace. "It was rather alarming."

"It must have been," replied Justin. "Are you going back to Manor-leigh?"

"Of course," said Grace. "How could I not?"

"If you do, it might look as though ..."

"Oh, all that nonsense!" said Grace. "Nobody believes that. It's all party politics."

"Of course," said Justin.

Morwenna came over. "Oh dear," she said. "I do hope Ben is not too depressed by all this."

"Here he is," said Grace. "He'll tell you."

Ben stood before us and for a few seconds his gaze held mine ... at least I suppose it was only for a few seconds. It seemed more and I felt that everyone in that room must be aware of his feelings for me. Then he said: "What am I to tell?"

"I was just saying," Morwenna explained, "that I hoped you were recovering from this terrible shock."

"Yes, thank you," he replied. "I am."

"Shall you be going back to Manorleigh?" asked Justin.

"Yes ... this afternoon. Very shortly, in fact."

"I suppose it is the best thing ... to get on with work."

"It's the only thing."

Again I intercepted his gaze. It was full of pleading. I felt quite unnerved and in that moment I did not know what to believe. I said: "I think Aunt Amaryllis is trying to catch my eye. I had better go and see what she wants."

It was escape. I felt I might have been acting rather strangely and that Justin, in particular, was aware of it.

I found Aunt Amaryllis. She said to me: "Oh, there you are, dear. You'll stay, won't you? Uncle Peter is hoping you will. They will all be gone shortly."

Uncle Peter came up and pressed my arm.

"I wish Ben could stay a little while," said Aunt Amaryllis. "It will be awful going back to that place and electioneering after this. Someone was saying it won't do any good. It will need a miracle for him to get in now."

"We are good at working miracles in this family," said Uncle Peter.

"I do hope it works out for him."

I was glad when it was over. I had a quiet meal with Uncle Peter and Aunt Amaryllis and then Uncle Peter walked me home.