In his own view, however, he was not old. Sixty-nine was an interesting age--an age of infinite possibilities--an age when at last the experience of a lifetime was beginning to tell. But to feel old--that was different, a tired discouraged state of mind when one was inclined to ask oneself depressing questions. What was he after all? A little dried-up elderly man, with neither chick nor child, with no human belongings, only a valuable Art collection which seemed at the moment strangely unsatisfying. No one to care whether he lived or died...
At this point in his meditations Mr. Satterthwaite pulled himself up short. What he was thinking was morbid and unprofitable. He knew well enough, who better, that the chances were that a wife would have hated him or alternatively that he would have hated her, that children would have been a constant source of worry and anxiety, and that demands upon his time and affection would have worried him considerably.
"To be safe and comfortable," said Mr. Satterthwaite firmly--that was the thing.
The last thought reminded him of a letter he had received that morning. He drew it from his pocket and re-read it, savouring its contents pleasurably. To begin with, it was from a Duchess, and Mr. Satterthwaite liked hearing from Duchesses. It is true that the letter began by demanding a large subscription for charity and but for that would probably never have been written, but the terms in which it was couched were so agreeable that Mr. Satterthwaite was able to gloss over the first fact.
So you've deserted the Riviera, wrote the Duchess. What is this island of yours like? Cheap? Cannotti put up his prices shamefully this year, and 1 shan't go to the Riviera again. I might try your island next year if you report favourably, though I should bate five days on a boat. Still anywhere you recommend is sure to be pretty comfortable--too much so. You'll get to be one of those people who do nothing but coddle themselves and think of their comfort. There's only one thing that will save you. Satterthwaite, and that is your inordinate interest in other people's affairs...
As Mr. Satterthwaite folded the letter, a vision came up vividly before him of the Duchess. Her meanness, her unexpected and alarming kindness, her caustic tongue, her indomitable spirit.
Spirit! Everyone needed spirit. He drew out another letter with a German stamp upon it--written by a young singer in whom he had interested himself. It was a grateful affectionate letter.
" ow can 1 thank you, dear Mr. Satterthwaite? It seems too wonderful to think that in a few days I shall be singing Isolde...'
A pity that she had to make her debut as Isolde. A charming, hardworking child, Olga, with a beautiful voice but no temperament. He hummed to himself. "Nay order him! Pray understand it! I command it. I, Isolde. "No, the child hadn't got it in her--the spirit--the indomitable will-- all expressed in that final "Ich Isolde!"
Well, at any rate he had done something for somebody. This island depressed him--why, oh! Why had he deserted the Riviera which he knew so well and where he was so well known? Nobody here took any interest in him. Nobody seemed to realise that here was the Mr. Satterthwaite--the friend of Duchesses and Countesses and singers and writers. No one in the island was of any social importance or of any artistic importance either. Most people had been there seven, fourteen, or twenty-one years running and valued themselves and were valued accordingly.
With a deep sigh Mr. Satterthwaite proceeded down from the Hotel to the small straggling harbour below. His way lay between an avenue of bougainvillaea--a vivid mass of flaunting scarlet, that made him feel older and greyer than ever.
"I'm getting old," he murmured. "I'm getting old and tiled."
He was glad when he had passed the bougainvillaea and was walking down the white street with the blue sea at the end of it. A disreputable dog was standing in the middle of the road, yawning and stretching himself in the sun. Having prolonged his stretch to the utmost limits of ecstasy, he sat down and treated himself to a really good scratch. He then rose, shook himself, and looked round for any other good thing that life might have to offer.
There was a dump of rubbish by the side of the road and to this he went sniffing in pleasurable anticipation. True enough, his nose had not deceived him! A smell of such rich putrescence that surpassed even his anticipations! He sniffed with growing appreciation, then suddenly abandoning himself, he lay on his back and rolled frenziedly on the delicious dump. Clearly the world this morning was a dog paradise!
Tiring at last, he regained his feet and strolled out once more into the middle of the road. And then, without the least warning, a ramshackle car careered wildly round the corner, caught him full square and passed on unheeding.