The Mousetrap

(LADY ANGKATELL turns with a brusque movement, puts the newspaper on the coffee table, then moves to the drinks table, picks up the book from it and puts it in the bookshelves over the drinks table.)

I always remember you as you used to be in the holidays when Uncle Hugh was alive. (He turns to LADY ANGKATELL.) I wish you’d come more often to Ainswick, Lucy. It’s looking so beautiful just now.

LADYANGKATELL. Is it, darling?

(GUDGEON enters Left.)

GUDGEON. Excuse me, m’lady, but Mrs. Medway would like to see you a moment. It’s about the savoury for dinner.

LADYANGKATELL. Chicken livers. (She crosses to Right ofGUDGEON.) Butchers have no conscience about chicken livers. Don’t tell me they haven’t arrived.

GUDGEON. They have arrived, m’lady, but Mrs. Medway is a little dubious . . .

(LADY ANGKATELL crosses and exits Left. GUDGEON follows her off, closing the door behind him.)

EDWARD. (Taking his cigarette case from his pocket) I sometimes wonder whether Lucy minds very much about Ainswick.

MIDGE. In what way?

EDWARD. Well, it was her home. (He takes a cigarette from his case.)

MIDGE. May I?

EDWARD. (Offering the case to her) Yes, of course.

(MIDGE takes a cigarette.)

If she’d been born a boy it would have gone to her instead of to me. I wonder if she resents it? (He replaces the case in his pocket and takes out his lighter.)

MIDGE. Not in the sense you mean. After all, you’re an Angkatell and that’s all that matters. The Angkatells stick together. They even marry their cousins.

EDWARD. Yes, but she does care very much about Ainswick.

MIDGE. Oh yes. Lucy cares more about Ainswick than anything in the world. (She looks up at the picture over the mantelpiece.) That picture up there is the dominating note of this house. (She turns toEDWARD.) But if you think Lucy resents you, you’re wrong, Edward.

EDWARD. (LightingMIDGE’s cigarette) I never quite understand Lucy. (He turns, moves to Left of the sofa and lights his own cigarette.) She’s got the most extraordinary charm.

MIDGE. Lucy is the most adorable creature I know—and the most maddening.

(HENRIETTA enters Left and closes the door behind her. She has tidied herself.)

HENRIETTA. Hullo, Edward.

EDWARD. Henrietta, lovely to see you.

HENRIETTA. (Crossing to Left ofEDWARD) How’s Ainswick?

EDWARD. It’s looking beautiful just now.

HENRIETTA. (Turning toMIDGE). Hullo, Midge darling. How are you?

EDWARD. (OfferingHENRIETTAa cigarette) You ought to come, Henrietta.

HENRIETTA. (Taking a cigarette) Yes, I know I ought—what fun we all had there as children.

(LADY ANGKATELL enters Left. She carries a large lobster on a short length of string.)

LADYANGKATELL. (Crossing to Right of the coffee table) Tradespeople are just like gardeners. They take advantage of your not knowing. Don’t you agree, Edward? When you want them to mass in big clumps—they start fiddling about with . . . (She suddenly becomes conscious of the lobster.) Now what is that?

EDWARD. It looks to me like a lobster.

LADYANGKATELL. It is a lobster. Where did I get it? How did I come by it?

HENRIETTA. I should think you got it off the kitchen table.

LADYANGKATELL. (Holding the lobster against the back of the sofa) Oh! I remember. I thought a cushion this colour would look nice here. What do you feel about it?

HENRIETTA. No!

LADYANGKATELL. No. Well, it was just a little thought.

(GUDGEON enters Left and crosses to LADY ANGKATELL. He carries a salver.)

GUDGEON. (Impassively) Excuse me, m’lady, Mrs. Medway says, may she have the lobster.

(LADY ANGKATELL puts the lobster on the salver.)

Thank you, m’lady.