The changeling

”So you did not see him ... and you came back later ...”

“Yes, because my visit had delayed me.”

We all sat quiet, frightened by the implication of his words.

“So,” he cried, “I am judged guilty, am I? Rebecca, how can you believe this of me?”

“I can’t believe it, Pedrek, I can’t ...”

He would have approached me but I shrank back and my grandmother said: “We are all very upset. I think we should do nothing at the moment. Belinda ... fortunately ... escaped what could have been a terrible experience for her. Understand, Pedrek, we have to think about this. Perhaps when the child has recovered from the shock a little we can discover more … but frankly, I should hesitate to question her at the moment.”

“I think you had better leave us, Pedrek,” added my grandfather. “We must have time to think about this.”

He turned abruptly and left us. Through the window I saw him striding to the stables.

Something told me that the Pedrek I had known till now had gone out of my life. The talk continued. Leah was very anxious about Belinda. She said the child was quiet and thoughtful. She kept her in her room for she had nightmares and Leah had to be there to comfort her.

“We should be very grateful for Leah,” said my grandmother. “No mother could be more caring for her child.”

We had tried very carefully to question her, but when we attempted to she would shrink from us and a look of terror would come into her face.

“It is very important that this should not arouse all sorts of fears in her,” said my grandmother. “She is so young and the young are impressionable. It is a dreadful experience for a child to undergo.”

“Granny,” I said, “I do not believe that Pedrek would do this.” She shook her head. “People do strange things. Nobody really understands another person completely.”

We could think of nothing else. The sordid matter took complete possession of our minds. We should take some action, we knew.

I could not eat; I could not sleep; and my grandparents were as worried as I was.

That evening, after I had gone to bed, but not to sleep, my grandmother came to me. “I guessed you’d be awake,” she said. She drew her dressing gown about her and sat down close to the bed.

“We have to do something, Rebecca. We can’t go on like this.”

“No,” I said, “but what?”

“For one thing, Belinda ought to get away. Leah says she keeps talking about the pool and that time they drained it because they thought you were there and they brought up a murderer.”

“Where does she hear such tales?”

“People talk. They don’t realize that children hear these things. You know there is that superstition about the pool. They get garbled versions. However, what I think is that Belinda should get away from here, and-much as I hate it-you go, too.”

“Go away ...”I repeated.

“Yes. In London or Manorleigh, Belinda will be far away from the scene. Leah thinks she should not go to the pool again. I can’t imagine that she will want to ... but sometimes that sort of thing has a strange effect... and the thing is to put it behind her as quickly as possible. In London or Manorleigh life will be entirely different. She will forget. She is only young. But here ... she never will.”

“I can see some reason in that.”

“And you, my dear, what of you and Pedrek?”

“I don’t believe ...”

“You don’t want to believe ... but half of you does. Tell the truth, Rebecca. You know you can tell me.”

“Yes ... I think you are right.”

She nodded. “If you got away for a while, I think it would be good for you. You were so fond of Pedrek. I know how you feel. And now ... you are beset by doubts. You are trying to force yourself not to believe ... and in your heart you do.”

“I don’t know.”

“Time may help. If you stay here you might do something you would regret for the whole of your life.”

“What?” I asked.

She lifted her shoulders. “You might decide that you believe him- You might marry him ... and then find out hidden things you hadn’t dreamed of. On the other hand you might reject him . and you might regret that all your life. Go back to London or Manorleigh. Ask yourself how much you care for Pedrek. Look this thing straight in the face ... don’t shirk any possibility. Discover how much you care for Pedrek. Take Belinda with you. Look after her. She is in need of help as much as you are, my darling.” She put her arms round me.

I said pathetically: “Everything was so wonderful. There was the house ...” I shivered. The house would never be the same to me again. I would always remember that terrifying scene with Jean Pascal. He had besmirched the house - but Pedrek had ruined my future happiness.

I knew my grandmother was right. I could not stay there. I had to get away.

There was another reason why I knew we must go, which was made clear to me by Leah. My grandmother and I were discussing Belinda with her and my grandmother asked her if she thought the child was growing away from her experience. Leah stood up very straight, her hands clenched.