The Black Swan

He took my hands and looked earnestly into my face. “I’m sorry you are leaving us like this, Lucie,” he said.

“I’m afraid ... I felt I had to.”

“My dear child, I understand. I hope you will try to understand me. I love you very dearly. I have been overhasty. I do realize that now. Please remember that I shall always be there to help you if you need me. You understand that, don’t you, Lucie?”

“It is good of you ...”I began.

He shook his head. “I would care for you... always. One day I am going to make you change your mind.”

“Thank you for your hospitality. I am sorry if I seemed churlish.”

“No, my dear, the fault was mine. I understand. I am considerably chastened. Give yourself time. My poor Lucie, you have so much to contend with and I was impatient. It was because I cared so much. But ... we will leave it ... for a time. And then I shall come back and try to win what is so important to me.” I had a great desire to get away. The carriage was at the door. He kissed my hand as they put the luggage into the carriage.

Belinda did not come to say good-bye. That was typical of her. She was very annoyed with me and was not going to hide it.

The carriage moved slowly away. Jean Pascal stood there, looking so sad that I could not help feeling a little contrite.

When the Fitzgeralds joined me and we rattled along to Bordeaux, I began to feel better.

And there we were in the train speeding along to Paris.

A Quiet Wedding

The journey went smoothly. Roland got us across Paris and we caught the train to Calais in good time. I realized often during that journey how lost I should have been without the Fitzgeralds.

Then there was the task of getting on the ferry. I felt so relieved when we came in sight of Dover.

The Fitzgeralds said they had a pied-à-terre in London which Roland used when he was there on business; but he did pay frequent visits to the headquarters in Bradford. When we arrived in London, he said they would drop me and then go on to their little place. They would not come in with me as I should be unexpected and it would be better for me to arrive alone and make the explanations. They would call next morning to make sure everything was all right.

They accompanied me to the door of the house where my bags were deposited. The cab waited at the door until it was opened by the butler.

I turned and waved to them and the cab drove off.

The butler was clearly astonished. “Miss Lansdon, we weren’t expecting.... We didn’t get a message....”

“No,” I replied. “There wasn’t time to send a message. Is Mrs. Lansdon at home?”

“Yes, Miss Lansdon. I’ll inform her. And I’ll send someone to take your bags up to your room.”

“Where is Mrs. Lansdon?” I asked.

“I think she would be in the drawing room, miss.”

“I shall find her. If you will see about the bags ...”

“I will, miss.”

I went past him up the stairs.

Celeste had heard the sounds of arrival and was at the top of the stairs to see what it was all about.

“Lucie!” she cried.

“Oh, Celeste, I’m so glad to see you.”

She put her arms round me and held me tightly.

“But why?” she said. “Where... are Belinda and my brother?”

“They are still in France. I came back with friends.”

“You must be very tired.”

“I suppose so ... but at the moment I’m so glad to be back that I don’t feel the least bit tired.”

“Something has happened....”

I hesitated and she went on, “I’m so sorry. It’s Joel, of course. I hope I did the right thing in letting you know. I wasn’t sure. I ought to have broken it gently. But I thought you would have to know.”

“Oh yes. Dear Celeste, I had to know. How... how are the Greenhams taking it?”

“Badly. I’ve only seen them once. I called... but I think they do not want callers. One understands. Sir John... well, you can’t tell with him, but Lady Greenham cannot hide how sad she is. I felt I shouldn’t have called. It seemed like bringing it all back ... but I suppose it’s in their minds the whole time. I left very soon.”

“Did you see Gerald?”

She shook her head. “It is so very tragic. There was such excitement when Joel went. It was going to be so important for his career. It all seemed so happy then. And it has all changed. But we must not speak of it. I am so pleased to see you. It has been so quiet without you and Belinda.”

“Belinda is going to be married.”

“Yes, I know.”

“It is all so suitable. It happened very quickly. Her father approves. Sir Robert seems acceptable in every way. It was love at first sight and I suppose there will be a grand wedding.”

“Yes,” said Celeste with a faint note of alarm in her voice. “It will be here.”

“You’ll do it beautifully,” I assured her.

“And you... Lucie?”

I hesitated and then decided to tell her.

“It became a little awkward. Your brother asked me to marry him.”

“No!”

“He did. And, Celeste, I could not accept his proposal. He seems to think I shall change my mind, but I shan’t. I never shall.”

“No. I understand.”

“Well, I couldn’t really stay in the house with that sort of situation and I had met some people who were coming back, so I traveled with them.”