The
She leant against the wall, humming and shivering. Sometimes she missed Medoro so badly that she wanted to die, but everyone expected her life to go on as if nothing had happened. And now Lila was inviting her to spend the next few years struggling with some beautiful ideas that for all she knew might have no bearing on reality at all.
Agata stilled herself and stared down into the black dust at her feet. She felt as if she’d been waiting all her life for just one message from the future, telling her that everything would be worth it in the end – but the hungrier she grew for that scrap of comfort the further it receded, and the greater the cost. She would have given up all hope of it to get Medoro back, but no one was offering her that choice.
She couldn’t spend another day sitting in her office juggling equations, with no idea if they were true or false. And she couldn’t bear to be around Medoro’s family if she had
nothing useful to contribute to their lives. Everything on the
The
Agata turned away from the entrance and began retracing her steps. She’d very nearly talked herself into it – but if all she had to offer the rest of the crew was her desperation, they’d be better off leaving her behind to go insane on her own time. She could go through the motions with the vacuum energy calculations, then if the messaging system survived the saboteurs she might at least get a verdict from the future as to whether or not Lila’s theory of gravity applied in the real world. There’d be nothing inconsistent with the laws of physics in being told that she’d wasted her life.
She stopped dead, her skin tingling, ashamed of her self-pity but grateful for one detail of her maudlin fantasy. A verdict on Lila’s theory,
15
Ramiro scratched the skin around his fetter; it had been itching horribly for the last three days. Despite his pleas, Greta had insisted that he remain in chains even when they
were interviewing candidates. He was beginning to wonder if he’d be kept in restraints even once he was on the
‘The planet Esilio is orbiting a massive star,’ Agata enthused. ‘But we’ll be blind to the light of that star; it will appear to us as nothing but a pale grey disc. That combination offers the perfect conditions for the observations I want to carry out.’
Ramiro had no idea what she was talking about, but they hadn’t seen anyone else with pro-messager credentials half as eager to make the journey. ‘Go on,’ he said.
‘If gravity is really just the curvature of four-space,’ Agata continued, ‘then light that passes close to this star will be bent
She summoned an illustration of the phenomenon onto her chest.
‘I’ve exaggerated the scale of the effect here,’ Agata admitted, ‘but it would certainly be measurable with a small telescope.’
Ramiro thought this sounded harmless enough. The last applicant who’d claimed to be drawn to the mission by the chance to carry out a scientific project had wanted to experiment with
exotic methods of pulverising Esilio’s surface from orbit, in order to impose their own entropic arrow as firmly as possible. Listening to the woman’s wish-list of weapons that she
hoped to load onto the
Greta, though, was as suspicious as ever. ‘You’d be willing to give up twelve years of your life, just to observe this minor optical effect?’