EMMA I’m a post office, and living upstairs in your house like a lodger, which is all we can afford to be—there is no further humiliation I could suffer. But I’m glad to do it for my George. He was unrecognisable when I came from Paris. He was suffering more than I. If you can’t make him happy—or cure him—give him back. He’ll come back anyway. This is not love, it’s exaltation.
NATALIE You haven’t understood anything. All my actions spring from the divine spirit of love, which I feel for all creation. Your logical way of looking at things just shows that you have grown apart from Nature. George is not the way you talk about him. He understands. He loves you. He loves Alexander. He loves your children and mine. Together, our love will be strong enough for all of us.
NATALIE George!
EMMA George!
NOVEMBER 1850
HERZEN (
GEORGE To Natalie and Olga.
HERZEN Where’s Emma?
GEORGE There.
DECEMBER 1850
EMMA On our honeymoon in Italy, George didn’t like the cologne they had there, so I sent to Paris for his special cologne, and when it arrived in Rome we were in Naples, and when it reached Naples we were back in Rome, and so it went on until the cologne followed us back to Paris. The carriage charges were enormous. That’s how I’ve always been with George. Nothing was too good or too much. Daddy used to be rich, he supplied all the silk furnishings to the Prussian court, but somehow the revolution made him quite poor, and he resents George, it’s so unfair. I’ve borrowed and sold everything I can so that George isn’t troubled, and now I don’t know where else to turn.
EMMA (
HERZEN (
JANUARY 1851
HERZEN Oh yes … Where will we put it?
NATALIE Oh … but it’s a present for George for the New Year.
HERZEN How silly of me.
NATALIE Do you like it?
HERZEN Very much. If Herwegh will permit it, I’ll order a copy made for myself.
NATALIE You’re angry.
HERZEN What should I have to be angry about?
NATALIE Take it for yourself, then.
HERZEN Nothing would induce me.
NATALIE George is like my child. He becomes distressed—destroyed—or elated—by the smallest things. You’re a grown man among men, you don’t understand the yearning for love of a sensitive being for a different kind of love—
HERZEN Please speak plainly.
NATALIE He worships you, he lives for your approval, spare him this—